What’s Your Price?

Vadim Khurin wonders who is for sale

H

ow much is one to pay for you to change your mind? And how much does it cost to buy your behaviour? And what is the value of your faith? How much is enough for you to abandon your beliefs? What is the price that could force you to turn back from Him in whom you believe?

Did someone try to buy you? If so, then you know that these questions have their own price. Every man who wants you to sell something to him is ready to pay you for it.

What did you sell the last time? Your promise? Faithfulness and consistency? Or maybe an opinion that previously seemed to be firm and steadfast as a rock and now looks different? And perhaps this opinion has its own price—anything can be used as monetary change: assurance, safety, reputation or opportunities. Whether relationships or absence and solutions of certain problems, all of these factors might become the silver for which your sell yourself.

And perhaps the exchange rate on the market only aids your case. But you know that you are sold. And because of it, it is impossible to calm the funnel of depression, the feeling of contempt toward yourself for failing to stand firm. It was too difficult for you to refute the suggested price.

It might be that you as a reader were shocked by this introduction. What are all these questions about? But do not be in a hurry to respond. Let us think about this. Did Judas think about his price when he betrayed Jesus for money? Did Peter think about that when he denied Jesus? The fear for their own lives set the price in both cases.

Did people think about the price as they denied their faith, finding themselves in the midst of the Colosseum and waiting to be tousled by lions? At the same time, what motivated those who didn’t deny their faith? Was their price for themselves too high? Perhaps there was no one to match the demanded price.

There are other examples. Every day someone sells himself or herself, his or her body. Another one openly sells his promises, which he earlier vowed to uphold. If the earnings are expected to be good, then why can’t we bargain? I agree with those who say that every man has his own price. We need not search for examples of such phenomena somewhere far away. People are sold and bought every day. There is a corruption at every level. Doesn’t this show that every person can be bought: his opinion, his reaction or attitude, his thoughts, his faith…

 

Imagine that the silver coins are slowly being drawn down into your stretched hand.
You sense an icy feeling as the coins hit your hand, and you can feel the weight of silver.
The coins keep falling—while just a moment ago you could hold your hand easily, now you have to make an effort. After some time, the amount of silver grows, and you are too tired to resist its weight. And so, the bargain is complete. How many times have you sold yourself to temptations?

How many times did you tell yourself that you have no more strength to fight, and believed it to be true? I think that you know many people, just as I do, who have completed their bargains. Everyone has sold something of his own. Someone like Esau has sold his birthright, someone like Judas has sold God’s call and his Savior. There is an endless multitude of examples in between. There are the dreams, aspirations, the desire of promise and fellowship, opportunities, the great vision for your life, yourself, your love. Many people have dreamed of great success, but nobody knows about those people. They failed. They dreamed to live long and happy lives, but they did not make it. They wanted to be loving and faithful to their promises, but as a result they simply determined their price. The price of their faithfulness, their fidelity, their promises, their opinions and their faith. If the silver has begun to draw down into your hand, one day it will be enough to force you to lower your hand.

It could be that you are already tired from constantly selling yourself, your desires, your dreams, your future and present. But since you have nothing to offer instead, you simply try to sell yourself for a higher price, hoping to make it more profitable for yourself.
Jesus said: For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? (Matthew 16.26, NASB)

What can you give to ransom all that you have already sold?
What will you pay as a pledge?
So many believers are slaves to depression, negativism and apathy because they saw they could give nothing to ransom their souls.
Souls, which they have sold.
Souls, which they have sold to sin, to momentary conveniences, interests and seeming success.
When a man sells himself, he knows about that.
It could be that he does not show this to everyone, but when he stays alone, he knows exactly that it happened.
And so does an adulterous woman who sells her body without convincing herself that all that had happened with her was love.

Don’t think that I never sold myself.
I know exactly where, when and for how much I sold my dreams and aspirations.
And I know what the price was.
Very often it disrupts my nightly dreams.
At the same time, I do not want to sell myself anymore, because Jesus is correct.
There is no benefit in it.
I have decided to make one big bargain.
I have sold myself to One who paid a price for me long time ago.
I have sold my whole self without leaving anything behind.
There are some people who say that it is not the best bargain I have ever made.
They try to explain to me that it was so stupid to cut everything off in one moment.
But everything is done, and there is no way back.
When I think what has changed in my life since that time, I could say that very seldom the attempts have happened from other people to outbid the price that was paid for me.
There are some attempts, of course, but they end in failure, because the new price needs to be much higher than that paid by Christ.
And this price paid by Christ is great and important.
The blood is infinitely valuable, and no one can outbid it.

I have stopped selling myself.
If you are fed up with selling yourself, follow my example.
Only do not count personal benefits.
The benefits will come in different ways, ways you may not even expect.
But the assurance that you do not harm your soul is priceless.
If you want to determine a price for yourself, let it be a valuable price.

How much do you cost?

Writer: Vadim is from a Russian circus family and came to The Salvation Army in 1995 as a university student to play in a heavy metal/worship band (”Third Cross”) in the southern Russian city of Rostov-on-Don. He stayed, became a believer, the leader of “Third Cross”, and joined the Army. He married his longtime girlfriend Inna in a Sunday morning service and eventually they entered training to become Salvation Amy officers. They were ordained and commissioned in 2002. Vadim, Inna and their children are presently serving in their second appointment in “Velikiy Novgorod”. Vadim’s interests include music, sports and reading.

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