Double~take | Ignite

Igniting a neighbourhood

M

y house is pretty multicultural. That’s probably a good thing, cos so is our neighbourhood. It’s called the Ignite house, cos that’s where the Igniters live, funnily enough…

I hear knocking on the door, and a rattling letterbox slot… for the third time this week. I run down the stairs and open the door to the same bunch of kids as last time, only this time they brought friends. “Is Emily here? Or Drew?” No guys, they’re still on their Ignite mission trip. They’re in Montreal. “Oh. What about Audrey? Where’s Sarah? Can we come in?” They’re in Montreal as well. They won’t be back until Thursday. “Your neighbour’s scary - she keeps yelling at us because we come to the door all the time. Can we come in?” Um… I have to leave pretty soon, but ok…

And six kids charge into the living room, declare themselves terrified of the basement, and ask if they can have a freezie amidst a whirlwind tour of the house… They leave amidst the shouts of our neighbour… she might be scary, but they keep coming back…

I can’t think why. These are the girls who swear loudly (very loudly) in frustration, and quietly in casual conversation, as they talk with the lady down the road about how drinking alcohol doesn’t mean you can’t be a Christian. Encouraging bad habits in the community - don’t we have enough of that?

They invite people from the community over for breakfast, then get into serious discussion about various times they took a dump and clogged the toilet… Way to gross people out guys - aren’t you meant to be the visible face of the church?

He’s the laziest kids’ squad leader I know. Does nothing to prepare, apart from turn up in the afternoon and get his 13-year-old teen leader (assistant?) to choose what they should do each week. Go play dodgeball? Great idea, we’ll do that… What should we do next week? Go see a movie? Which one? How should we get there? Let’s go online and find movie times… Honestly, if you’re not going to organise it properly, you might as well let the kids run it and save yourself the time…

They’re hackysack champions with weird piercings who play in brass bands and befriend young wannabe gangsters; accumulate dents in the corps vans and vandalise potted plants… They preach on movies about magicians, run though water fountains (and ruin their cellphones) and have impromptu prayer meetings in the kitchen.

They graduate this week… and they’ll be missed (if and when they leave the neighbourhood). If you know anyone who could replace them, I suggest you recommend them in a hurry - I doubt our front door can take the punishment…

Double~take appears every Saturday on theRubicon. Find past Double~take posts and a bio of Stephanie Hung here.

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