Thinkaloud | the two-letter word

… adult cowardice stares us in the face daily

T

he brainwashing starts early. It is evident in a restaurant where there is a row of highchairs.  Each has a plastic bib with the large words “The boss.” The conditioning continues as the child early learns how to use the piercing scream and the temper tantrum to blackmail adults.

School is little help, as the curriculum is child appeasing, with the whim of a person too young to have life experience demanding and receiving concessions from adults who know better. At home there is little denial of the children. They get what they want: TV, toys, computers, video games, food, sleep and all on their terms. And if they meet resistance from a parent they know what tactics to use to get the their own way. The parents do not deny the kids; the kids do not deny themselves.

Governments and professional do-gooders also know where real power lies. Wreathed in sentimentality and unrealistic ideas of childhood innocence, they say that gangs of young people have every right to hang out in shopping malls even though shopkeepers and customers are often justifiably intimidated.  If a young person sets a fire or steals a car, they are said to be too young to be responsible for their actions.

And when it comes to sex, who would dare to say the two-letter word – NO – to the young people who have never been denied anything in their life? They continue saying YES when they should be learning to say NO. The evidence of adult cowardice stares us in the face daily.

What happens when two “bosses” marry, when two young people who have had their every whim catered to all their lives, decide to wed? Where have they ever learned about mutual submission, self-giving love and the willingness to say NO to oneself that harmony may prevail? Many of these young people, who have been the boss ever since they drew their first breath, cannot change the patterns of a lifetime, and so the divorce lawyers get richer as one-parent families increase.

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children: King Edward VIII

The arrogant young person who sits behind the wheel of a high powered vehicle and drives as if he or she owns the road is simply acting out what has been drummed into his or her head since infancy: you can have it your way and we will provide it. The tragedy comes when the road is full of such deluded people, each demanding imperiously to be the leader of the pack.

And what happens when people who have never applied the two-letter word to themselves grow older, when the time comes for them to die? There are many such elderly who have alienated family and friends, and who are living out their last moments in futile demands that they be Number One. They cannot accept that no one listens, or cares what they are saying.

The time comes for them to pass from this life, and as they enter the presence of God their ego demands what He, in His wisdom, cannot give. He knows that heaven is not the place for the blindly self-centered, raging ego; there is another place reserved for such entities, where they will live with themselves in their self-chosen path forever.

After a lifetime of indulgence, when they had it their way all the time, those lost souls will be horrified to hear the words of the Master, “Depart from Me, I never knew you.” Someone is using the two-letter word, actually saying NO. For many it will be too late.

Writer: Lieut.-Colonel Maxwell Ryan is a former Editor in Chief in Canada and the UK. In retirement he is a copy editor of theRubicon and the author of theRubicon series called Resurrected Writers.

3 Comments to Thinkaloud | the two-letter word

1. Well, this is very true, although I understand that even Dr. Spock has recanted.

   I know so many elderly people, children grown, gone and indifferent, that I think there is a fear factor fueling the parental indulgence as well: If we don’t bribe love from our children, the (non)thinking goes, how will we have the chance to do the same with our grandchildren?

   Our homeschool group refers often to Deuteronomy 4:9. It’s a good guide for all of us, I believe.
Catherine W. on June 2nd, 2008

2. I was with you all the way and hopeful about where you were going; until your last 2 paragraphs.

   You outline that people essentially become the victims of very bad parenting, and then at the end accuse them of choosing a life of self-indulgence, and send them all to hell.

   I know that people will be held accountable for their choices in the end, and I know we each much take responsibility for our own choices (based on our ability to make choices), but you describe people who have never been taught any discipline or decent decision making skills in their whole lives as people who are doomed for Hell.

   I have a feeling God is bigger than that.
   Dion
Dion Oxford on June 6th, 2008

3. Growing up in the early 70’s there was this common theme in my family…you are to be seen but not to be heard from. This really set the tone as to who was the boss and who were the followers. I was a follower, the last one in the line up.

   When God gave us little Samuel in 2004 I knew he was a gift from God. What I was not prepared for was for there to be three bosses in the house - him at the early age of two, and a 37 year-old and 38 year-old. There was a constant tug of war. If a rope could be split into three pieces our little guy was winning all the time as he would play daddy against mommy and vise versa. Between my husband and myself we knew we would have to revamp this whole structure of raising our child if we were going to teach Samuel that he was not the boss of our lives, but we wanted him to see and learn that he was part of the decision making, even though daddy did make the final decision.

   As time went on…we soon realized we were using the word “no” alot when our little Samuel would ask a question and would answer it with a no, “Can I go out side…no? Then when we would say yes, then there would be a parade of excitement.

   Raising a child in today’s society is not easy, creating structure, sticking to that structure, but also balancing time for one’s child to discover the world through his own imagination with free time. No tv, no games, no toys, its quite a sight to see. This form of playing teaches a child to become dependent.

   Seeing Samuel has two very strong parents, that only adds up to a strong minded child who learns quickly how to get what he wants when he wants and this has helped my husband and I to work closer together. When our Samuel wants something we incorporate him into the conversations to help him to see how things are processed. Everything that a child wants in life does not always add up to a yes or a no, but its a process and our little Samuel is learning that life is not always about being the boss, but life is about working together as a team. Yes I believe a child has his place in the family and what I come to learn through him is so amazing, a family can work well when they work together with one boss. Like our relationship with God, He is the boss but we work well together when we work as a team.
Lisa on June 6th, 2008

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