Ragamuffin: loneliness

Why are we so alone?

T

here is a new movie out called WALL-E. WALL-E is alone on earth. One day, Eve, a sleek robot, is sent to earth to find proof that life is once again sustainable. WALL-E falls in love with Eve. WALL-E rescues Eve from a dust storm and shows her a living plant he found amongst the rubble. True to his love, he protects her from wind, rain, and lightning. One day a massive ship comes to reclaim Eve, but WALL-E, out of love or loneliness (or both) hitches a ride on the outside of the ship to rescue Eve. The story tells us of  lonely robots and the need for love.

Some graffiti on a subway wall reads, “I like grils.” When someone corrects the misspelling by writing, “It’s ‘girls,’ stupid, not ‘grils,’” a third party writes, “But what about us grils?” – lonely grils? Loneliness is a sad reality in our world.

There is an old song by Three Dog Night that was a hit, it was called One Is the Loneliest Number.

In 1995 Chicago had a heatwave with a rash of deaths deaths – 739 died - the final tally of unclaimed bodies at the county morgue necessitated a mass burial of cheap pine boxes, over 40 unclaimed persons – lonely people in such a busy big city. A sad reality.

The Beatles sang:

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

But who was the first to say, “One is the loneliest number”?

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” - Genesis 2:18

Each one of us is wired for community. 
  What goes wrong?  Why are we so lonely?
Why do we humans seem to be a lonely bunch? Why are we feeling so alone?  It’s that feeling you get when you are surrounded by many people at a party, but still feel like you are not connecting to anyone. It is the fear that you are somehow on your own, despite living and moving in this busy and crowded world of ours.

It is, maybe, the fact of the human condition. Perhaps you’ve seen the movie Castaway, with Tom Hanks, that came out a few years ago. In the movie, Hanks’ character is stranded on a deserted island after a plane crash. Starved for interaction and needing companionship from anyone or anything, Hanks ends up forming a relationship with a volleyball he calls Wilson. He talks to the volleyball as if it was a real person and he tries to protect it from harm as if it were a real person. To me, this movie symbolizes our human need for companionship.

For example, to avoid loneliness, many are willing to settle for destructive relationships instead of healthy ones, seeking love from wherever it is offered. We can even fill our lives with busy-ness, convinced that if we just fill up our days with enough tasks – with work, or with school, or even with extra-curriculars, even with church activities – if we fill up our calendars, then we can avoid that loneliness.

In Philippians 4:1-3 we read about the church family in Philippi. It is a great place but has some problems in the area of relationships.
In these few short verses Paul is saying to us “if we are so lonely then why in the church do we divide ourselves even further with conflict and friction with each other?”
Look at all these relationship words in these verses.

v. 1 Terms of endearment: he loves them, he wants the best for them, he wants them to stand firm together as a community of faith.
v. 2 Euodia and Syntyche were probably two women leaders who were at odds with one another in this church. In the midst of a lonely world we sadly drive ourselves into even lonelier corners. We often are driving people away from us and instead of becoming a church family that is inclusive, enfolding.

Isn’t it amazing that Paul says their names! This would have been read aloud to the church at a church service! Paul addresses the dissension that was driving people away from each other instead of bringing unity. Paul speaks frankly. Paul confronts these two women and urges them to put aside their differences and come together. He says to them and to us - stop generating more lonely people.

Why do we keep the cycle of discord, loneliness and isolation going in the church. It doesn’t belong. We need to reach out to people with love and grace. We shouldn’t put up with junk in the church family like gossip. We also should be willing to extend the hand of fellowship to those that seem to be on the fringe. Love that single mother, extend a welcome to the homeless, help those who are often on the outside. Go out of your way to talk to people who may be need a friend, those who need a true community of faith. Don’t be a “us four and no more” kind of circle or group. This has to be intentional.

Resolutions to some longstanding conflicts need to be made in some relationships at many churches and corps. Conflict and loneliness damages the church inside and out.
Paul says for us to agree with each other – it is true that we won’t on politics, or music styles, or many other things but if you name the name of Jesus as your Savior then we are in this together.

Reconciliation is always the goal. Not always attainable because some people will refuse to extend grace but we work toward that end. Discord in a church can hurt the growth of any church family. The infection of isolation and loneliness and of keeping to ourselves is really hurtful to the community of faith.

v. 3 reminds us to join together as fellow workers for the kingdom of God. We need to regain the idea of church family. We must end the loneliness in our churches by reaching out, by taking risks. We can do it. Not everybody will be willing to – but will YOU reach out – will you?

Cuz one is the loneliest number…

Ragamuffin appears every Monday on theRubicon. Find past Ragamuffin posts and a bio of Capt. Jay Davis here.

1 Comment to Ragamuffin: loneliness

1. This was just what I needed to hear right now. I sometimes wonder whether the emphasis these days on the one-on-one personal relationship with Christ hasn’t set us up for disappointment. Whenever we get hurt it’s easy to retreat back to that relationship however customized to our personal tastes or to the contemporary construct of family … which makes for more disappointment. There’s no getting around that the Church (however difficult it can be at times) is the Body of Christ; without it, there is emptiness.
   Thanks again, Andrea
Andrea614Regent on July 26th, 2008

Leave a comment