At home in ourselves

How Doré Ann creates home by Matt Rawlins

Doré Ann makes me feel at home. There is something that I have lived, have felt, have experienced that Doré Ann offers that isn’t really about the traditional ideals of home.  I had the privilege of being present when Doré Ann’s sister, Carmen, came to see the beautiful new home we moved into together this past winter. Doré Ann decided to give her sister a tour around the house, in the living room, through the kitchen, into the dining room, past the parlour, a glance into the bathroom and ended in her room. It was the best episode of MTV Cribs I have ever seen. Doré Ann’s smile was genuine and she was able to show off her beautiful home without too much gloating. The key for me was that, unlike most hosts, she was showing her home not her house.

Doré Ann asks house mates, visitors and guests for a union of both peace and tranquility. She is very sensitive to the ambiance of a room; and is very quick to gauge when there is tension in the air. It’s almost as if she has radar for collective emotion. This is crucial to any home as it helps heighten everyone’s awareness of their impact on others, their impact on the home.

Don’t get me wrong, Doré Ann does create home in very practical, concrete ways; some of the more obvious ways being her deep appreciation for order and cleanliness. Everything has a place.  I can remember when Doré Ann hopped out of her chair rushed across the room and shifted a mug three inches and then returned back to her seat. My guess was that it was out of place. I smile even now thinking about all the things I have seen Doré Ann relocate when they are in her path.The countless pieces of lint she has gracefully removed from my sweaters and shirts, just because they are out of place.

Doré Ann depends on follow-through, doing what you say you will do. She embraces the nurturing qualities of routine which helps days to run smoothly. Although routine is good, Doré Ann dances along the fine line of predictability and spontaneity.

The warmth of her smile, Doré Ann’s peaceful smile can melt you even on the most stressful of days. Her laughter echoes in my mind, hours after she laughs.  I can hear it in my head right now; it’s so potent and so contagious. I’m amazed by the unity laughter brings to a home. On Halloween last year an older kid came by (fairly late, with a sad excuse for a costume) and I think he was looking to clean up at the tail end of trick-or-treating time. The lot of us were on the porch, as he came up the steps instead of getting candy from us, Doré Ann proceeded to remove select items from his bag. The boy froze, Doré Ann opted for “trick” in the trick or treat exchange. She gave back the chips and candy but proceeded to laugh for what felt like ages, we were all in pain we were laughing so hard. Yeah, sense of humour helps create home.

Over and above all of this, is one of the greatest gifts Doré Ann carries in terms of creating home, it is that she depends and calls the people she is in relationship with to be at home within themselves.  Doré Ann so often reflects back to those she is with, their sense of themselves. She places vast value on presence, and the security of being together. Some people are just comfortable in their own skin; Doré Ann is fuelled by that inner peace we can each carry. It isn’t always easy to be comfortable with who you are, as you are, being able to block out external chaos and to carry peace. Doré Ann gives the space for that, challenges that, Doré Ann is willing to accept herself for who she is, more so, as others do the same.

Just being present with Doré Ann, accepting ourselves and each other at face value is by far some of the most home I have ever felt.  In these moments I am at Home. She invites people to slow down, to quiet the noise and clutter of life and just be.  It’s that feeling inside like the best possible thing you can do with your time is to be there. That’s why Doré Ann creates home; her greatest gift of Home is the call for each one of those she is in relationship with to be at home within themselves.

Writer: Matt loves light and is working on his shadows. He lives in a small and vibrant L’Arche community in the east end of Toronto, Canada. He makes art, music, not clean toilets clean, poetry, monthly finance reports, schedules and dinner. He likes being active, loves when gifts are unwrapped and is a fan of laughter.

He lives in a community committed to making known the gifts of people with developmental disabilities. L’Arche is an international federation of over 130 communities where people with developmental disabilities and those who care for them live, work and share life together.

2 Comments to At home in ourselves

1. Matt:

   Reading this made me feel closer to God. I am so glad that you and Doré Ann have chosen to accept his call for your life.

   Andrea
Andrea614Regent on October 27th, 2008

2. Yeah, I’m glad too. One step at a time.
   Thanks for the encouragement Andrea.
Matt on October 27th, 2008

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