Lock the back door

Rob Reardon says: Don’t let the teens escape

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here is an issue within the Army that troubles me greatly, namely the huge gap in our outreach efforts. We pour much energy and passion into our children’s outreach and retention and through Vacation Bible Schools, Sunday Schools and other programs for boys and girls, we are somewhat successful in growing our junior ranks. We also expend a lot of effort at the other end of the spectrum, pouring resources programs and ministries aimed at keeping our senior citizens busy and blessed. (I would venture to say that perhaps the exception to this would be a deficient ministry to men.)

But there is a gap in the middle, filled with scores of teenagers and twenty-somethings, quietly exiting out the back door of our churches, corps and centers. While it can be argued that this is a fact of church life, I would counter that it shouldn’t be the case. I am aware that most churches have to deal an exodus of this age demographic, but I’m still concerned and growing more and more frustrated.

Two situations have brought this home to me recently. The first situation has been evolving over the course of the past several months, if not years. A 16 year old girl in the corps we attend has been dating a guy who attends another church. For the last six months or so, the agreement has been that they would alternate attending our corps and his church on a bi-weekly basis. Everyone seemed fine with this arrangement. However, at the end of December, the couple announced that she was planning to stop attending the corps altogether and begin attending her boyfriend’s church fulltime. In a corps with precious few teenagers to begin with, her departure was noticeable. I cannot begin to describe the frustration that such a loss makes me feel. Why wasn’t something done to prevent this? Some efforts were made in recent months, but I’m afraid it was a case of too little, too late. My consolation is that at least she is continuing to attend a church and hasn’t walked out the back door altogether.

The second incident will be taking place in the not-too-distant future. Once a year, The Salvation Army’s National Headquarters for the USA hosts a meeting of the Territorial Youth Leaders of all four US Territories, as well as Canada. Added to their agenda this month is a meeting mandated by our International Headquarters in London focused on “Winning Children to Christ.” I am not an opponent to any effort to win children to Christ. God knows that as a Divisional Youth Leader for five years, I did whatever I could, and encouraged others to do everything necessary, to bring the gospel to children of all ages. What concerns me about this mandate however, is that the emphasis will be almost exclusively on outreach and evangelism, all the while ignoring that fact that we have virtually nothing by way of infrastructure through which these young believers can grow and mature. Will we not simply be perpetuating the cycle of bringing children in the front door and then eventually, inevitably, watch them exit out the back door?

In my experience one thing that does seem to work is the intentional development of relationships. Young people can usually smell a fake. They know when they’re being played, and they know when they’re simply viewed as a project or an assignment. When our young people walk out the back door, they’re leaving in search of something and someone who will take the time to show them genuine care and compassion. They are looking desperately for those individuals who will take a genuine interest in their lives. And that is something we’re not too good at.

We’ll do all we can to woo a young person to stick around and attend our programs and adjust their schedule to ours, but we won’t change our weekly activities schedule in order to accommodate them. But it goes deeper than that. Whether we admit it or not, we simply aren’t too eager to embrace lifestyle choices that seem outside the pale of our normality. And so these youth stay the fringe of our fellowships. Whether the issue is tattoos or body piercings or clothing that is too dark or too baggy or too something or other…we have certain expectations of people if they’re going to “fit in” and if they don’t meet those expectations, then there’s no room.

I’m praying that the young lady who just left our corps will find what she’s looking for in her new church family - even if her current romantic relationship eventually flounders. I’m also praying that the upcoming meeting of youth leaders is successful and eventually bears some positive fruit. But I also am praying that a renewed sense of urgency is discovered for how to lock that back door.

Writer: Capt. Rob Reardon is an officer of the USA Western Territory currently serving at the USA National Headquarters in the Business Department. While youth ministry and discipleship are his passion, he is willingly taking a sojourn into the dark recesses of business administration. On good days he can be found cultivating relationships over a good cup of java. On bad days he fights the urge to tumble into a deep depression due to the performance (or lack thereof) of his favorite sports teams. Every day he is in his element loving and enjoying God, his family and the life he has been blessed with.

14 Comments to Lock the back door

1. The situation is similar here in the UK, with great resources for children but nothing for teens etc, but then most corps don’t have any. It’s a chicken and egg situation, where a DYS explained to me here that ‘it is understood they all leave once they reach about 12yrs old’, and therefore there is nothing for them. Thankfully we have an enterprising CO who is trying something new. What I think is staring us in the face is that firstly they will not connect with the kind of hierarchical and formal church the army consists of, so we are working against the local cultural grain in a way that the gospel doesn’t make necessary, and secondly that while we have been blessed with many adult returners to church in the past, the fact is this generation may well not find any churches to return to when they start to think about God again later in life. If most of the local churches here have a life expectancy of 10-15 yrs, and are already declined beyond financial viability, they are simply not going to exist in thirty to forty years from now when our present teens might be thinking about spirituality in a different way.

   What is our (UK) response to this? I think this has implications for how we disciple teens, and we need to face up to it, own up to it, and respond creatively and innovatively. The most obvious response that has come to my mind is that while we are able to disciple them, we need to give them plenty of experience of forming and leading small groups that can function as simple church. This will be a good investment for the future of the church, whatever unfolds.
Eleanor Burne-Jones on January 15th, 2009

2. Rob,

   What you describe seems to be a serious situation facing The Salvation Army. I am also afraid that the particular case you sight with young lady is not an isolated incident to that Corps but to Corps all around the Army here in the US.

   A couple of random thoughts:

   1: The Army should acknowledge that this is happening. Unlike 10 or 20 years ago (when most of our THQ and DHQ staff were last in Corps) we live in a different society. This is a 500 TV channel, 10,000 songs in their pocket generation you speak of. The Army can’t out entertain them. If we would like to try, their attention span is 7 minutes best of luck.

   2: When something like this happens, I most often see the Army lament over the loss, maybe blame the relationship or the other church, but we seldom ask the hard question of why they chose the other church and not the Army?

   3: I stated in a previous Rubicon piece on Emergent Salvationism that this was happening. That many of us are riding on the Titanic and seems that a couple of other Captains (prophetic voices in the Army) have called over to give us a warning that there might be an iceberg ahead. Ah, but we seem to think the ship is all too indestructible. A lot of my friends are jumping ship and into the lifeboats (other ministries or no ministries at all). I fear this and yet find it helpful all the same.

   Thanks for your piece and for letting me vent.
Cory Harrison on January 15th, 2009

3. Hey Rob,

   Thanks for this article.

   Rick Warren said, “We have to stop asking God to bless what we’re doing, and start doing what God is blessings.” The Army is infamous for protecting and preserving its past successes. We like to hold on to what worked like a trophy that we never want to give away.

   Ufortunately, trophies don’t produce results, they are merely reminders of past effectiviness. Kids “put up with us” for a while, but when they are free to go where they want, they will no longer “put up with” our self-adoration that insists that they love us too. And not only do we insist that they love us, but they must love the way we love. They must also express their faith the way we have been expressing it or they are considered “unfaithful.”

   They may not be called unfaithful, but the passive aggressive treatment they receive makes it obvious that their ways of worship and learning are not welcome.

   Yuck! God must be gagging.

   The Army looks at those things that God is blessing as “their” (other denominational groups) ideas and ministries, and give the excuse that “The Army has a different calling.” The truth is, we all have the same calling, which is to bring the world to the feet of Jesus.

   Thanks again.
Johnny Gainey on January 15th, 2009

4. Rob:

   Thank you so much for bringing this to light in this forum. I whole heartedly agree with you being one of those “forgotten teens and young adults” raised in the Army. Not a lot of teens are willing to stick it out and see there is something brighter on the other side. It frustrates me greatly that the Army doesn’t put more time and effort into keeping this generation of kids and young adults. I have felt this even when I was a youth director in the Southwest! Ultimately it will be this group that will become our leaders.

   I’m sure you know this, or at least I hope Loreen has told you that we in our Session are striving to create meaningful relationships with this age group once we get out of Training. I share your passion in this area and have felt often times like beating my head against a wall. Keep on writing to shed more light on this topic and I will try in any corps I go to, to make sure to close that gap.
Heather Paap on January 15th, 2009

5. Hi Rob,

   I agree with what you are saying. I have kids in this age group, so it is a great concern for me. There are a couple of observations that I have made over the years…

   First is the age groupings that we do: 6-12 year olds are invited to youth rally’s, Salvation Army Youth Camps, etc.
   Then youth have to be 14 to go to Youth Councils, and other divisional teen events…that leaves out 13 year olds. I have had DYS’s tell me “well, they can go to Corps Cadet Retreat”, which is true, however, I really believe that we are losing kids in the particular age group.

   Second, I remember when I was a teen, that corps branding was a big deal…by that I mean, when we went to a Divisional event, we took our corps flag that had our Corps name on it. We all had something special on our uniforms that identified what corps we were from…we had pins on our epaulette that said ‘Farmington Citadel’. That was Farmington, NM and we figured that if Phoenix could have a Citadel, so could Farmington, NM. There was great pride in our corps identity. Somewhere we have lost that in our effort to blend. The thought behind this was that we stayed in the corps because we belonged…we were important.

   So what is going to keep young people in The Salvation Army? In our corps, we have been very intentional in the programs that we provide. Our Sunday School classes teach the Jr. Soldier and Corps Cadet Material. We involve the young people in all aspects of leadership. I believe that if The Salvation Army was largely started by teenagers, then we should continue that legacy and believe in our teens to do great things for the Lord and to grow the Army.

   I, too have seen youth groups decimated by the scolding of the adults of a corps, however, it just made me want to fight for our teens more. Don’t give up on that 16 year old girl…she is going to need somewhere to go if she and her boyfriend break up. And who knows, she may bring half of the big chruch youth group with her.

   I am praying for our Youth Leaders. I am praying that as they work together to build our youth programs, that they look at all things that are important. Evangelism is vital, but without discipleship, evangelism will die from lack of workers.
Tammy Ray on January 15th, 2009

6. Thanks for this Rob.

   About a year ago our corps (in addition starting to the junior/teen mission teams, mentoring, and engaging some teens as volunteer help with work with children) started the practice of teen talk which is now teen Sunday school. It seems to be working. (by working I mean there are more teens around during the service than there were beforebefore) Last fall they had a day for the faithful attenders at an amusement park.

   While there’s no single solution to this problem, programming with a focus on teen needs would be a part of it.

   And incidentally, it needs to kick in some time before they’re teens.

   Andrea
Andrea614Regent on January 15th, 2009

7. I think the problem is easily discerned, but will require a major change in attitudes among the upper ranks so that practices can change at the corps level.

   Specifically, we need to stop using the 1950s model of “Here is our church and these are the time slots we use. You need to come to one of these programs.” No matter how relational and relevant we try to be within our little program boxes, we are still trying to force/encourage/woo/bribe young people to come to us. It’s too insular. Sunday school and youth group times are fine, and it is commendable for us to have a set meeting time for one or two corporate worship activities, but we need to open ourselves to the reality that we need to be involved in their lives rather than trying to involve them in ours.

   “Come meet God!” we proclaim, as if God can only be found in our buildings or at our altars or inside our uniforms. “Let me show you God!” should be our cry, as we enter into the world our youth inhabit.

   I lead a multi-corps young adult group designed to staunch some of the bleeding of youth from our program world. We do have a weekly Bible study meeting, but greater ministry happens in the text messages, Facebook posts, and other non-program contacts. But when officers ask about the young people from their corps they only ask about program and stat counts, not about lives changed or lived.

   What I have found, however, is that when I spend time in their lives, they are willing to spend time in mine as well.
Roger on January 15th, 2009

8. With the new format I don’t know who made the last post, but I’d like to make the point that there is a difference between “necessary” and “sufficient”. In life, habits are everything and a really useful habit is to engage with community through worship. I’m not saying that we should scold teens for not showing up to worship, but that we should offer them SOMETHING, consistently, especially for them and not be discouraged if it doesn’t attract the “cool” kids and the “future leaders”. worship-related teen time may not be sufficient to keep them within the fold, but it is necessary. As a parent, I see offering this sort of programming as encouragement for me as much as my offspring.
Andrea614Regent on January 15th, 2009

9. Rob

   Excellent article and many valuable points. I truly believe that one very important are of reality that we as an Army are dealing with today is the fact that our young people are liviing in the age of the informational highway. They are the internet, facebook generation. Download a topic and receive a thousand differnt opinions and information on any one. The world is at their fingetips. Unfortunately that includes World Theology and the worlds point of view, much of which from a logical informational point of view seems to make sense to them and seems relevant with the lifestlye choices facing many today. How do we as the church combat or even began to relate and fight this dilema.

   It is not easy and there is not any one answer but I know we do not meet the challenge by clinging to old ways and old habits(don’t get me wrong not all are bad or irrelavant). We simply will not relate to young people who are facing a number of lfestlye choices that ther peers and the world are deeming not only acceptable but we are led to believe something is severly wrong with your value system if you do not accept them. We must be real about our world today and stop burying our heads in the sand. Open up our minds and heart, stop alientating with rigid and unbending ideas of dress and so forth, and show as much compassion and love as the enenmy is willing to pretend he shows. But we must hold out a standared of biblical truth and the love of Christ which is infinetly more rewarding than anything the world has to offer. However if they do not find this acceptance in the church they will seek it elsewhere.

   An impossible daunting task to say the least but absoultely necessary if souls are to be kept from plunging into the abysss. Love the article keep speaking the Truth and holding out the word of life.
Larry on January 16th, 2009

10. Well this blog certainly hit home with me. I am a twenty-something, and I have never felt so left out in my church family before.
    The corps which I currently attend has excellent ministries geared towards children and teens, but once you hit the twenty-somethings, there’s nothing. My friends and I love our church family, but at the same time, we feel like we are being segregated and left out. There are two factors which make us really feel this divide in our church. During the evening services there are a multitude of twenty-somethings showing up, we make up about 75% of the congregation. For years these evening services have been geared towards the more senior people in the corps which includes really old (and mostly unknown to us) songbook songs. I find it frustrating that the corps has not even tried to make some accommodation for us…. and we’ve made up 75% of the congregation for several months.
    There is one other thing which I’ve picked up on in the language used to welcome the “young people” and in prayers that mention the “young people”, it’s that the words “us” and “them” are being used a lot… there’s a divide put up with words. Why can’t it be “we” and “us” as a whole?
    In my church, I feel there is a huge opportunity to reach out to my generation, to the young adults. This is a critical time for us.
    Thanks for bringing this topic to light Rob.
Heather R on January 17th, 2009

11. If you spend most of your time in Army circles, I think it’s easy to forget how counter-cultural it is: No drinking, formal dress, songbook featuring the logical complexities of Isaac Watts, the discipline inherent in joining a band. It’s a hard-sell for a lot of teens, but a valuable respite from the dumbed-down, low-expectation culture the world offers for others. I see two problems at my corps: One, as many other posters have pointed out, there’s not enough discipleship going on, leaving some bewildered as to the value of the Army calling. Two, the teens aren’t obviously necessary to the mission of the corps. The programs run for them are basically entertainment — mini-golf comes to mind. And while fellowship is great, the corps is missing a lot of passion by not asking the young adults to, say, take a day runniing the soup kitchen, lead a children’s class, or run a fund-drive for a local project or overseas mission. I left the
    Army in college; in high school, I couldn’t have left: I would have been haunted by 20 kids with no singing company leader! (a friend of mine ran the junior band at the same age). Those jobs are professionalized now, and while the music director and youth leader are great, it takes something away from the local teens when they’re not asked to use their talents.
    —Catherine W.
Catherine W. on January 19th, 2009

12. Catherine, I guess it depends where you are. I don’t remember ever seeing a corps with a paid music director. You really shocked me when you mentioned that the singing company and junior band leaders are professionals now! Perhaps it isn’t that unusual in the States and I just haven’t run across it…but I am pretty sure it would be an anomaly here. I realize I’m not really contributing to the discussion, but I couldn’t help but express my surprise! I agree with the things you said and think your comments are quite thoughtful.
Amy Reardon on January 20th, 2009

13. I get the feeling a lot on this board that my corps is pretty unusual, even in America! I don’t think the corps pays the music director — he has regional commitments and I believe it’s a joint operation. I’m sure not complaining about him; he’s great and we’re lucky to have him (and the youth leader).
Catherine W. on January 21st, 2009

14. Judging by the comments this post illicited, it’s clear that this is a far-reaching issue. I wonder, what will/can we do about it? Will things change to the point when we are free to address this by other means than more programs?
Rob on January 27th, 2009

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