Can church conflict culture be changed?

by Eleanor Burne-Jones

This single question took a group of us to the London Mennonite Centre a couple of weeks ago, to a Bridgebuilders Network Day. Bridgebuilders train church conflict mediators in the UK.   From different backgrounds and perspectives, we came together to work on understanding how it might be possible to change church culture with respect to how we handle conflict.  This skill is crucial in enabling congregations to handle change as they move from impasse into growth.   It is crucial also for church planters, as new groups embed certain ways of doing things quite rapidly.  It can save the plant (and sometimes the planter!) if the new church forms good habits early on rather than trying to learn after a disaster.

All congregations experience conflict; it’s an inevitable part of the life of the church.  A Bible study on this may look at Acts Chapter 15, where we see a group of early Christians facing a major internal crisis.  They go through stages of a process that result in a decision most participants are able to accept.   We see a lot of healthy conflict process in this passage.   It is useful to look at process because the harm done to people lies often not in the issues themselves but in the way conflict brings out all our worst or best behaviours.

As we gathered in the light and airy chapel for our day together, I wasn’t the only one to wonder if I was really going to come away with any practical strategies.  Church culture is notoriously hard to impact. But now, looking back on my own experience and having listened to colleagues, I am convinced that training can make a real difference, both to church leaders and to those of us in congregations and church plants.

We were in a good place at Bridgebuilders to ask the really hard questions; and I had a strategy to bring home, tailored for my work here in an ecumenical setting.   Whether in plants or congregations, our settings are unique, and to find what will work in your situation, the key questions you have to ask are all about communication.  Embedded low levels of conflict can paralyse congregations for years.  It’s also the case that the dialogue that releases those tensions, if it isn’t facilitated well, can lead to parties entrenching even more deeply in their positions - so that the whole thing gets worse and worse.  We see this happen, sadly, as things escalate.

I believe an important question is to ask if the very culture of our church is working against the possibility of dialogue happening when issues arise - and if so, how to address that?  There’s a proliferation of approaches to facilitating conversation in a safe way. Asking the right questions and creating settings where listening and discussing can happen will help us to understand how to better effect those vital changes in our churches that we all need to make but are unsure how to initiate.

Writer: Eleanor Burne-Jones grew up in The Salvation Army, but gradually left the Army and the church by her mid twenties. She spent more than fifteen years in the Jewish faith, before returning to Christ and The Salvation Army in 2003/4.  She was noviced as a Franciscan at the same time she was enrolled a soldier, and had nearly three years of Franciscan spiritual formation in the Third Order Soc. St Francis before asking to live out her vocation within The Salvation Army. In 2007 she set up Kres Jesu Krist, (Cornwall Church Health) with an ecumenical lay team. They offer training and spiritual accompaniment, and facilitate the Cornwall Fresh Expressions Network for people in pioneering ministries and church planting across the county. She is studying theology, and is a soldier at Penzance Corps, UK and has her own blog.

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