The Concise Oxford | face of Christ

Am I a fraud asks Dion Oxford

It was Tuesday, a wintry January morning in Toronto at 7am. I had started a new day and had scheduled a breakfast meeting at 7:30am downtown with a friend of mine who also works alongside folks who live on the street. So I set off on my bike, riding to my destination in the dark. It was wet, slippery and just plain miserable. I was getting drenched from the splatter. I just wanted to get to where I was going.

Then it happened. While I was sitting at a red light, a young girl appeared without warning, out of nowhere, and looked me in the eye. She said, “I don’t need any money sir”. I just stared at her with nothing to say. She looked about 16 and was very clearly homeless or close to it. She went on to say, “I’m pregnant and I’m hungry and I was wondering if you would buy me breakfast at McDonald’s.” I looked and noticed we were right in front of the golden arches.

I was still self absorbed with a one-track purpose of getting off of my bike and out of the cold. I also realized I would barely make my meeting on time if I stopped, and without much of a thought I simply said, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you today.” Then the light changed and I rode off.

My heart started beating through my chest and I didn’t even get through the light before I decided that this was a bad decision on my part and that I needed to buy her breakfast. I turned around and was back to where we had spoken in less than 90 seconds. She was nowhere to be seen. I looked up and down the street, in the alley, in the McDonald’s. She had vanished.

I gave up looking and rode on. My head was spinning. Was she a messenger from God that presented herself to me out of nowhere? Was this Jesus appearing to me in the same way we read about in Matthew 25 (”…to the least of these my brothers and sisters, so you have done it unto me”)? Did I just say no to a cry for help from Jesus Himself? Did I just fail miserably to see the face of Christ in this young, lost girl? Had I just encountered an angel?

I got to my meeting ahead of schedule. I sat there and began reflecting on the parable of the Good Samaritan. I began comparing myself to the priest who walked on by the person who had been beaten up because he was late for a meeting. I’m supposed to be the “professional” caregiver for folks on the street. How could I just turn my back on her like that?

After breakfast, I rode the rest of the way to work and my mind took me back to this girl. I wept. I wept for her and I wept because of my stupidity. What happened to her? Did she find food? Did someone have the sense to stop and buy her breakfast? Am I a fraud? Do I really care about the poor or do I just do this for my own glory? Why am I in this work? And I asked myself again, was she an angel? How did she possibly disappear so quickly? There was no place for her to go in such a small amount of time without me seeing her.

Prayer: Forgive me Lord. For my pride. For not being ready for you at all times. For missing opportunities to have an encounter with you. Thank you for your grace, despite my deepest faults. Help me to never forget this encounter.

May your kingdom come, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Amen

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

7 Comments to The Concise Oxford | face of Christ

1. Dion, thanks for your honesty. Man, this resonates with me. Can’t tell you the times I’ve done this myself, but I’ve been talking with one of my mates recently about letting God interrupt our lives and not just writing these encounters off as chance.

   Grace to you,
   Phil
Phil on April 18th, 2009

2. ah Dion, I’m so there with you. I don’t want to self-condemn, but I know how many times I’ve failed to do what was right because I was busy doing what was “good”, or even just what was selfish. God is gracious, but I know this is a heart and will issue for me, and that confronting the face of Christ is still so “inconvenient” for me. I can’t be expecting Christ to show up according to my schedule, preferences and agendas.

   Thanks, and grace,

   Aaron
aaron on April 18th, 2009

3. Hi Dion,

   I’m definitely sure you’re not a fraud - but just a frail human being like the rest of us, who at times lets others and the Lord down, and then needs to be challenged and learn the lessons you’ve indicated.

   Keep following, and learning, and receiving the Father’s grace that only Jesus can give by His Spirit and that we all so earnestly need.

   Thanks for sharing this experience.

   Regards.

   Bernard
Bernard Martin on April 18th, 2009

4. This is a great and gracious glimpse of true Kingdom behaviour… I’ve had a few wake-up calls myself in this fashion… I’m always amazed at God’s ability to cut through the stuff and just present the opportunity… which of course always comes in places that aren’t convenient and when we least feel like it. Weeping is a right response and then the next time… well, that’ll be different.
   grace to you bro.
   Danielle
Danielle Strickland on May 1st, 2009

5. Hey this is a great message

   “My heart started beating through my chest and I didn’t even get through the light before I decided that this was a bad decision on my part and that I needed to buy her breakfast”

   It seems that the mistake was that you didn’t say yes right away. you were 90 seconds late. Most people are decades late, (or never really get it). and then you searched for her.

   A Kingdom of servants, that’s a pretty cool idea
Dave on May 3rd, 2009

6. Excellent questions, excellent prayer. Thanks for sharing the message God gave you.
Sean on May 7th, 2009

7. I live in the same hood as you and I wonder if I haven’t met this same girl. I was pumping gas on the Danforth, when suddenly out of nowhere this girl appeared. Her opening line was, “I’m not asking for money”. She followed with I’m pregnant, and then asked me to buy her a bus ticket home to some small town a couple of hours a way. This reminds me of the time I was doing street outreach when a man came rushing out of the darkness in a bit of a panic with a story about having his keys locked in his car. The mans arms were waving frantically and he seemed very sincere. I immediately thought, here’s our chance to make a difference. My street walk partner was my pastor and a man with many years of experience in street ministry. He calmly reminded the stranger that he had tried this stunt the previous week and besides he was waving a set of keys. His story fell apart pretty quickly, and he disappeared into the night.

   So what’s my point? Was she the fraud and not you? No that’s not my point. My point is, if you had bought her a meal and then rushed off to your meeting, would you have met her real need. You might have assuaged your guilt, but she would have remained as desperate and lonely as ever. Surely that encounter was arranged, but what was the right answer. Is it possible that eye contact and an honest moment was the right answer.

   I believe that if we care at all we will experience this test over and over, and the right answer will seem different every time, but it will always be love.

   Your friend WR
Wayne on November 19th, 2009

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