Where have all the men gone?

by Graeme Smith

Since arriving at William Booth College in London as a cadet in the Prayer Warriors Session I’ve been actively involved at three London corps and in each one I’ve noticed exactly the same issue; the men are outnumbered roughly three-to-one by the women. When did things get so bad?

What’s interesting though is that it doesn’t seem to bother that many people. We lament the fact that our young people are leaving and shed tears over the poor state of our Sunday-schools, but when it comes to the lack of men people seem to simply shrug their shoulders and accept the situation. Why is this?

This is even stranger because the research suggests that if you really want to be effective in your outreach you should aim at men. Why? Because when a father becomes a Christian there is a 93% probability that the rest of the household will follow, compared with just 3.5% for children and 17% for mothers! This is incredible stuff but how much of our effort goes into specifically male oriented activities?

If you were to read people like John Eldridge and David Murrow they would suggest that it’s because the church has become increasingly “feminised” over the course of its history. Indeed Murrow traces the disparity between the sexes back to at least the arrival of the Pilgrims on North American soil. Is this why we don’t seem to care about the lack of men in our corps? We can look back and honestly say that this is simply the way it is, it’s always been like this so why bother to change it.

I don’t think it is acceptable!

Considering we are supposed to be an Army it’s a pretty sad state of affairs when more than 60% of our fighting force is female, especially when so few people seem to care about it!

I believe that we need to start being intentional about what we do to reach out to men. We need to work out why men don’t want to come to our corps, and find ways to make corps activities more attractive. Above all we need to encourage the men we do have to be strong male examples of what authentic Christianity is really about and help them reach out to their male colleagues and friends with the gospel!

Writer: After six years lay ministry in Latvia, Graeme Smith  and his wife Zoe are in training in London, UK. They have two wonderful daughters, Sian (3) and Abigail (1). Graeme is passionate about mission and discipleship.

6 Comments to Where have all the men gone?

1. Thanks for saying this Graeme. From where I sit, the ratio looks more like 80/20 than 60/40 but who am I to argue with verifiable statistics?

   As someone with a strong personal interest in solving this problem I’ve thought long and hard about its source and the solution. The root of it is that the existing males like it the way it is…they get to be choosey about prospects. Why would they want to wreck a good thing by bringing in competition? If males bring in anyone, it’s more females. Just what we need.

   The solution in my books is to work with men’s inate competetiveness. Make it more difficult to take on visible, glory leadership roles. Start a competition with the latest electronic gizmos for prizes to see how many can get their guy friends to go to social events, then actual worship services….

   Andrea
Andrea614Regent on May 20th, 2009

2. Good one Graeme.

   Another really good book on the subject is “No more Christian Nice Guy” by Paul Coughlin. I have given to many of my mates and it has changed their Christian walk, their family lives and their life overall.

   Being a Christian is very much a masculine thing - no doubt about it!
Bruce Redman on May 20th, 2009

3. A fellow officer quizzed me a few months ago about how and why I got involved in The Salvation Army. We were talking about corps planting (sorry, but the phrase “church planting” kind of makes me nauseous) and I just blurted out something I’ve kept inside for over 20 years - “I don’t like church!” I’ve never liked it. Whether it was the fear of condemnation from other Christians or my own guilt surrounding my feelings, I waited a long time to say it. But at perhaps the mid-point of my life I don’t seem to care as much about being concerned what others think of me.

   Don’t get me wrong. I don’t dislike “the” church. I just have generally been disengaged with just about all of the “non-service” type activities of the church, including Sunday meetings. I don’t care if it is a euphonium blaring some ancient hymn or a youth pastor trying lamely to get everyone to “rock out”, it is just very tiresome. We haven’t done any favors by adding the plethora of modern worship choruses either. I mean how often can one repeat, “nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. hey!” and still believe that this is worth our time and effort? At least the older songs were drawing some thinking men, though they were few. But I digress.

   I will not try to speak for all men or characterize the church as effeminate. I will just give my own opinion. I don’t go to the church for entertainment - that can be found anywhere. Electric guitars are no more impressive to a newcomer than a pipe organ. If I wanted to listen to cool music or watch funny video clips on Sunday morning, I could stay home. One might respond that “it’s not all about me, but it’s about worship of God”. But then I wonder if God also gets tired of the “nah nah nahs”. I don’t enjoy singing little love song ditties to Jesus; I shy away from the “touchy, feely, how-has-your-week-been?” cell groups that border on group therapy; and all of the other side-door events of the church just seem weak. Adding more activities, no matter how intentional or gizmo-filled they are, will not make a difference for me and the other guys I know.

   So I will tell you why I am involved with the Army and a local corps. I believe in what the Army stands for. I believe it has a purpose and that, if strategically employed, it can turn our communities around. I believe that if Jesus were in my city in bodily form, He would be feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and visiting the prisoner. I like the challenge of being involved with a group of people who, despite a variety of backgrounds and opinions, can work together for a common purpose. Most importantly though is that I believe that worship and service are synonymous. Living in obedience is real worship, not the 45 minutes we spend on a Sunday morning. And for me, The Salvation Army gives me the best opportunity to live a life dedicated to obedience.
Juan on May 20th, 2009

4. Andrea - you are an ‘ideas’ girl. Get that on to the offical SA minutes will you?

   Grant
Grant on May 20th, 2009

5. Graeme,

   Excellent observation. I’ve been saying the same thing for years. The ‘Army does have a major focus on women with little on men.

   The three corps I was CO at, I was also, by appointment, the Women’s Ministries President. One corps had a men’s program (always in the past run by the husband in a married officer couple), but when I, a single male officer, was appointed, I was instructed by DHQ to close the men’s ministry program and concentrate on the women’s ministries as I was the Women’s Ministries President, and could not ask another woman in the corps to take on leadership of women’s ministries so that I could focus on Men’s ministries.

   As you say, it can be traced back hundreads of years - even further I would suggest (probably well over a millenia). I think what has intensified the women’s ministries focus is the feminist movement. Socially, women have seen the need to fight for recognition etc., so they are more likely to fight to establish and maintain women’s ministries, whereas men don’t need such recognition and are happy with the status quo of being perceived to be superior, holding most of the senior roles. (Given how many women there are to men, why do so few women have senior positions?)

   We also need to recognise that women are more numerous in society anyway. We also need to realise that women are far more ’social’ than men by a long shot. Women prefer to meet in groups etc., men are largely solitary individuals with mainly ’shallow’ (compared to women) friends which usually do not allow deep discussion etc. (it’s almost taboo for men to discuss their feelings with each other or discuss ‘deep’ matters of the soul with each other). This is not the case with all men, but certainly, it is generally the case with the extreme majority of men - it’s part of the male Psyche.

   So, as a result, even with a focus on men’s ministries, it will still be so much harder to win men to anything - let alone the church - which is often viewed by non-christian men as a place for weak minded people, the last place you would catch them!

   Yes, their does need to be more of a focus on men’s ministries. Such a role would be extremely difficult, and require a full-time appointment with lots of resources, and not just ‘part of the CO’s role’. It would be pioneering work. It has been attempted in various guises in Australia with the establishment of sports ministries etc., but this still has very little impact as men still are reticent to talk about deep issues, and any such activity just serves to maintain the barrier men have about sharing themselves.

   Interesting discussion.

   Yours in Christ,
   Graeme (Randall)
Graeme Randall on May 20th, 2009

6. I agree 100% Andrea with seeking to engage men’s competitiveness although there is obviously a danger to this so the focus has to Jesus in the first place!

   Graeme, I’m not sure that I agree that men’s ministry has to be the responsibility of a full-time worker because I believe it has to be a whole body thing! If we employ someone to do it then it becomes the responsibility of that person and once again the danger is that it will not become a mission priority but yet another programme within the church.

   Personally, I believe that the central need is to produce whole-life disciples that are totally committed to God’s mission and our place within it. I believe that this will engage men’s competitive nature, or at least that part that tends to strive to be the ‘best’! Real discipleship encourages people to have a purpose in life; the bringing in of the Kingdom in the lives of family, friends, colleagues, complete strangers and within the community at large as well.

   I also think that we seriously need to consider whether our way of doing ‘church’ is attractive to men and if not then how we create an environment that meets the faith needs of both men and women, because this is what our communities need to be!
Graeme Smith on May 22nd, 2009

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