A bit of give and take

Are you a GIVER or a TAKER?

Afriend of mine has a very simple and straightforward view of life.  She has identified two distinct types of people in the world - the GIVERS and the TAKERS. It’s how she determines who gets to work for her and in what positions, how her friends fit into her life and where she should steer her children in terms of career choice and potential life partner.

So if we were to adopt that simplistic view then which one are you? A GIVER or a TAKER? Interestingly, I’ve discovered that a lot of people are actually self deluded when it comes to which side of the fence they fall on. The TAKERS quite often will tell you adamantly that they are GIVERS and the true GIVERS are often slow to realize that they are in no way TAKERS.

As Christians we would assume that our lot are on the side of the GIVERS - because let’s face it, it’s not about US is it? William Booth said it all when he sent the one word message across the seas all those years ago - “OTHERS”. It could well have been “GIVERS” because that word encompasses what we should be about.

We often speak of the “spirit of giving” which is interesting because just as TAKING is really about comfort, self and things of the flesh, GIVING could be seen as being of the spirit.

One man gives freely, yet gains even more;  another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.  Proverbs 11:24 (NIV)

As a fourth generation Salvationist I have been privileged to witness the inspirational lives of so many GIVERS. People whose entire lives were sacrificial in every possible way.  By contrast, at the Pentecostal church that I attended for some years I found an awful lot of TAKERS. Their Christian experience seemed to be mostly about what was in it for them and their family. A lot of this was based on the prosperity teaching that they had embraced and resulted in an overwhelming sense of entitlement. They are not on their own. It sometimes seems that the ME GENERATION(S) of TAKERS seem to have taken over the world especially when you consider how few young people volunteer for community work these days.

The “I want” outlook is made no less self-centered and bigoted and evil by being dressed up in religious garments. Frederick Coutts

Unfortunately I am finding more and more Salvationists and surprisingly, officers who are falling on the TAKERS side of the equation.  The ones who talk a lot about what they deserve for their life of great sacrifice of service. They stress their need for “boundaries” in their work, or boast about their seemingly immovable “personal Sabbath”. They seem to be attending an awful lot of out-of-town conferences or state their overwhelming determination to never be “a doormat for Jesus”. They have a desire to spend more time with the “Captains and Kings” rather than the people we were raised up to be in community with. TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.

“There are many people who seem to be ever reckoning how much they can get out of God for as little as possible in return.” William Booth

In Sunday School we used to sing …

J  O  Y,  J  O  Y, this must surely be …  Jesus first, Yourself last and Others in between

Hey, maybe I’m just a little too simplistic, but is this TAKE attitude one of the core reasons for the SA’s deterioration? There is no place for TAKERS in this movement.  Let’s get back to being GIVERS.

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,

Our father’s full giving is only begun …

For out of his infinite riches in Jesus,

He giveth and giveth and giveth again. (Annie Johnson Flint - SASB 520)

 

9 Comments to A bit of give and take

1. Hi Bruce,

   It is true that we need to be givers. But in order to be givers, we also need to be takers. We can’t be a giver without being a taker as well.

   When we look at psychology, we can see that when we don’t ‘take’ to recharge our bateries, we start doing and saying things that end up being quite destructive, no matter how well intentioned. We can talk about ‘God being sufficient for our need’ etc., but that is often used very much out of context to the point that it becomes twaddle. We can refer to those in the past who have ‘lived like that’, but I challenge you to show me people who completely lived like that and did not end up doing a lot of damage inadvertently.

   Not even Christ lived like that. He balanced out his ‘giving’ with ‘taking’. We read of Christ withdrawing to a solitary place, going off on his own. On one occassion we read that he was concerned that ‘power had gone out of him’ (the woman who touched the hem of his garment). I could go on and on. You get the picture. We need to be just as much takers as we are givers, otherwise, we will end up doing a lot of damage inadvertently.

   Perhaps one of the things that need to be ‘fixed’ within the ‘Army, is that Officers and Soldiers need to be allowed to be ‘takers’ when they need to be. A burnt out Officer is no good to anyone on earth, and no good to God. God is sufficient for our need, yes, so He gives us the ability to ‘take’. He gives us resources to ‘take’. He created it, He gave it, so He is sufficient for our need by allowing us to be ‘takers’. He constantly restores us spiritually, but emotionally and physically? I don’t think so (or only in extreme circumstances). That’s for us to do. To say otherwise is just bad theology and bad psychology.

   Just a few thoughts,
   Yours in Christ,
   Graeme.
Graeme Randall on September 29th, 2009

2. Great thoughts Bruce. Simple but true.

   Since I read this piece a few days ago I have been applying this philosophy to the people around me and it’s amazing how it has enhanced my understanding of them each.

   I’m not sure where I see Jesus being a “taker” Graeme. Sure it’s fine to recharge the batteries once you have given but I think what Bruce is saying is that far too many SA officers now are caught in a “take” cycle as they look around at fellow officers and covet their talents or notoriety or opportunities and become resentful and obstructive. Let’s face it most officers in the western world have it pretty darn good.

   I also think that a lot of soldiers and attenders are not giving enough whether out of frustration with their officer or corps situation or just plain selfishness.

   I agree with what you say about that “Personal Sabbath” rubbish - yes it’s important to take time out to be with God but how many officers do you know who work even half as hard as the general congregation member, out there in the real world?

   It’s all very well for leaders to delegate but they also have to lead from the front and that means often doing things that are outside of their comfort zone.

   Pete
Peter B on October 2nd, 2009

3. Bruce excellent article!

   So many ministers, officers and soldiers find they need to have that round of golf or spend time selfishly instead of selflessly. I know I have been guilty of this.

   It is becoming more and more part of our culture to take. It is a shame people no longer have a selfless attitude.

   I do agree with Graeme with Jesus “taking” time off to recharge. But this was usually after given to an extent where he was well and truly spent.

   The widow’s empty jars were filled to overflowing and as Christians I believe we should also be over flowing that it takes a great amount
   to actually empty us. We are to be emptied to be filled again and again.
J Roberts on October 2nd, 2009

4. Bruce -

   Good thoughts, and something we have been dealing with in our division as well. Specifically with young adults who seem to have difficulty moving from being “takers” to “givers.”

   They’ve been part of our youth programs and benefitted from the many great things the Army has to offer. Now that they are young adults they want to continue to receive, but not give back. They have lots of leadership potential but seem reluctant to look beyond themselves to how they can help others. They want to participate in special events, but only if the Army is footing the bill.

   It’s easy to point out the problem - but what is the solution? I would be interested to hear your thoughts on how we can encourage the spiritual attitude of giving.

   Cornell
Cornell Voeller on October 3rd, 2009

5. Graeme I can’t agree that we need to be ‘takers’ in order to be ‘givers’, partly because I don’t see Jesus as a ‘taker’. The problem may be a matter of semantics but I see Jesus as a ‘receiver’. He was open to receiving whatever his Father was willing to give him. He didn’t take it, he received it!

   For me taking seems to suggest that we expect to be given something as a reward for our work, whilst our real attitude should be to be open to receive whatever God gives us!
Graeme Smith on October 3rd, 2009

6. I’m with Graeme R on this one. Sure in a simple world we should all aim to be givers rather than takers. However your definition of takers is a bit off the mark in my book.

   Things like protecting personal boundaries, and having a personal sabbath are not about giving or taking, but are healthy and mature ways to live. Some officers may be able to survive being available 24/7 but most need some time to recharge. Suggesting that these attributes are selfish is very unhelpful.

   Also comments that suggest that the majority of officers are lazy and selfish also strike me as generalist and unfair. Most officers I know would easily work 55+ hours per week - with many things happening behind the scenes - while also maintaining a family and home life. Soldiers too in my experience work a normal job while also committing to minstry on top of this.

   Lets not confuse selfishness, or taking, with mature and healthy, christ-like living, which realises that God’s mission doesn’t fail, simply because we make time to rest.
Claire on October 3rd, 2009

7. In the current jargonese, I’m all for “work/life balance” BUT…..I believe as Christians we are always asked ‘to go the extra mile’. As I understand it, this originally related to Roman soldiers press-ganging locals to carry armour, supplies etc for 1 mile. Christians were told don’t do the minimum and double it, using the opportunity to advance the ‘Kingdom’ by direct example. Now we don’t have Roman soldiers strong-arming us these days into compulsory service but we do have other folk in our community who need us to ‘go the extra mile’.

   I can be as slack bad as the next person, I have excuses at the ready to NOT visit the hospital, NOT to cook a meal for an elderly neighbour, NOT babysit a fellow school mums kids. But if I’m to remain true to what Jesus has asked me to do, I have to extend myself beyond my own wants and needs to meet the needs of others. Now as a shift worker, Mum, Salvo and community volunteer, I could say I do enough, but that is not what Jesus did. At any time Jesus could have said ‘I’ve done enough’ , when he healed lepers, blind people, cripples, raised people from the dead, fed 5000+, He could have said “I’m done’, but He didn’t. Jesus gave again and again until he gave the ultimate gift of His own life.

   When I’m tired or busy or working or whatever, and I get that phone call for ‘the extra mile’, that’s when I have to stop myself from taking the easy way out with a ‘No’ and ask myself what can I do? and remind myself of Jesus own actions.

   I also think we need to be reminded that we will be held accountable for our actions here on Earth. I don’t want to be in the group where Jesus says ‘I was thirsty and you didn’t give me drink, I was hungry and you didn’t feed me, - depart from me, I never knew you”.

   Sally-Ann
Sally-Ann on October 7th, 2009

8. Hi Sally-Ann,

   What you say is quite admirable, but I have another take on it as on Officers Kid (OK).

   Many OK’s see their parents working for the ‘Army in various ways, often working more than 60-70 hours a week. They see their parents missing school milestones, performances, games etc., because they were ‘doing the work of the kingdom’. A lot of OK’s grow up resenting both the ‘Army (for denying them their parents) and their parents (for choosing other children over them). So often I’ve seen (and experienced) OK’s going to school (particularly after Christmas vacation) seeing all the ‘poor kids’ with brand new wonderful toys, knowing their dad gave it to the poor kids, and they only got a board game, or new pair of undies, because that’s all the officer could afford to give their own kids. What makes it worse is the underprivileged kids say things like “look what your dad gave me. What did he give you? why didn’t he give you something good? All he gave you was….”

   Kids don’t understand about kingdom work, or helping the needy etc. All they see is that their parents are doing more work for other families, other kids (taking the kids to disadvantaged camps etc.) while they hardly ever see their parents. They grow up thinking their parents don’t love them, that they are worthless - even the poor, disadvantaged kids are better than them. No matter how much we try to teach kids otherwise, they are not capable of understanding it the way we would like them to. No wonder so many OK’s end up in addiction of some sort or other, destroying their lives in various ways and rejecting the gospel completely.

   Don’t you think parents who ‘go that extra mile’ as you put it, will be held to account by God on the day of judgment as to why they let their own children, a gift from God, fall by the way-side?

   Yours in Christ,
   Graeme.
Graeme Randall on October 7th, 2009

9. Graeme, eventually we will all be accountable, for all we have done, or not done, in our lives.

   We can’t always control circumstances but we can decide how we act or re-act to our past, present, and future. But… to get back on track, as Christians we are asked to be ’salt and light’, ‘go the extra mile’, ‘visit in prison, feed the poor’ etc. We ignore these instructions at our peril. There are ways to be obedient to God, not ‘burn out’ and still enjoy a full, wholesome life with our families and friends.

   We need to approach our Faith intelligently but still with an awareness of God’s desire for all of His children to experience His love and forgiveness.

   Sally-Ann
Sally-Ann on October 8th, 2009

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