Lent Musings (2 of 5)

“I suck at Lent” admits Dion Oxford

o instantly dispel any myths that I might be creating for myself as a super spiritual person (those of you who know me already know better), I need to confess right off the top that Lent thus far for me has been a miserable failure. On Shrove Tuesday I committed to several Lenten disciplines that I would try to pursue throughout these 40 days and all but one of them has, for the most part, gone by the wayside. (The only one that I haven’t blown yet is my commitment to not shave, which I’ll get into in a later post but I’ll say now that this beard getting out of control…) I promised God that I would or would not do certain things for 40 days out of my love and commitment for Him and my desire to be more like Jesus, but the temptations for the things I promised not to eat or to do have quite pathetically proven to be greater than my promise to God. And it didn’t take long for that to happen. (It’s kind of liberating to get that out there but I feel like a total loser about it all)

So this Lent has reminded me of two very powerful truths about myself;

I am miserably prone to slipping over and over again back into sin.
I am going to die and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

As I’ve read and reflected on the text of Matthew 6:1-18 and have allowed myself to be challenged to read scripture, the first of four themes of Lent (known in liturgical circles as the four ‘acts of righteousness’), I am made very aware of the deep sin within me and my desperate need to confess and repent of that sin.

There is darkness within me. Lent, beginning on Ash Wednesday, reminds me of that pervasive darkness and the struggle to keep that darkness in check. Lent reminds me in full force of the battle that rages within me, and the battle that rages within the world, of darkness verses light.

So Ash Wednesday, especially when reading the traditional texts that come with it of Matt. 6:1-18 as well as Joel 2:12-18, acts as a ‘reboot’ of the spiritual journey. I’m not a computer geek by any means but when my computer gets slow and sluggish I am occasionally advised to run the ‘defragment’ software in order to clean up the hard drive and help it not get bogged down in little bits and pieces that get stuck in there which aren’t necessary and only go to slowing down and confusing the computer. Ash Wednesday is God’s way of defragmenting us. It takes us out of our potential complacency and distractions, and brings us back to reality to focus on the truly important things of the Christian walk. It takes our minds off of trivial theological disputes (in the case of some of the recent dialogues on the Rubicon it reminds us that mudslinging over what version of the Bible is best or if or how we participate in sacraments, is out of step with the Christian walk) and refocuses us on things of bigger importance.

Lent brings us back to the basics of the story. And the story reveals that though the darkness is all around us and through us, and though we are born sinful and flawed (Ps. 55:5), the darkness cannot overcome the light. The darkness that followed Jesus every step of the way, and in very real ways came close to tempting Him to sin, did not defeat Him. But He did get murdered for standing firm against the darkness. His witness of light came at great cost. So too, our attempt to stand against the darkness should cost us. In fact, if it doesn’t cost us anything it’s worth absolutely nothing.

Ash Wednesday then is reboot day. It is the beginning of our walk towards Easter Sunday, where Jesus defeated sin and death. It reminds us that we too have sin within us that needs to be overcome. It reminds us that we too are on a journey towards our own death. It reminds us that, with Jesus, we too can overcome the sin and death in our own lives.

But it leaves us with choices to make. How than shall we live? What might we do to stand firm against the darkness? What disciplines might we attempt to embrace in our efforts to stand firm? When the world literally crumbles all around us (Haiti, Chile, Japan), when corrupt governments deal in death and people continue to die in the streets, when death surrounds us everywhere we look, how do we respond? Is our response to death the same as that of the rest of the world’s or are we noticeable in our response to oppression, injustice, and death?

Lent offers suggestions as to where to start with that. The first, as I’ve mentioned, is to read and take seriously the scriptures that have been given to us to reveal something of the nature of God and how we as His created beings are to respond in light of the good news of God’s love for us and for all of creation.

In my next piece I will focus my thoughts on the 2^nd of the 4 acts of righteousness, giving.

Until then I’m still sucking at Lenten disciplines, cursed with sin and longing for Easter,

Dion

dion2

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.