Lent Musings (5 of 5)

Fasting

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s I write, it is the morning of Good Friday. This Lenten season has been incredibly eventful, with so many meaningful activities and situations that have been anything but coincidental. This past Holy Week has been rich with meaning for me as I’ve followed Jesus’ march towards the cross.

But yesterday, Maundy Thursday, was the most powerfully significant of them all for me. As a refresher, this day which is also known as Holy Thursday is the day when Jesus and His friends gather together to celebrate the Passover meal and Jesus reveals that He is about to die, demonstrates His servanthood by washing His follower’s feet, shares the bread and the wine as symbols of His body and blood, declares that he will be betrayed by one of His closest allies, asks His followers to stay up all night with Him and pray, and later gets arrested by the powers and authorities. His buddies can’t quite figure out why He’s so solemn that night as Passover is a time of celebration and partying. It’s a time for the people of Israel to remember their delivery from slavery and they partied hard in remembrance of this. So when Jesus was all heavy and serious with them, it really threw them off. He wanted them to stay awake with Him all night and watch and pray but they were so bloated from their feasting and tired from celebrating that they couldn’t keep their eyes opened and kept falling asleep on Him.

So today we Christians often find ourselves trying to re-create something like these events on Holy Thursday by meeting for Seder suppers, taking communion, washing each other’s feet, and praying all night.

This year I participated in those recreations amongst my family and my friends on the street. At Gateway we served a huge meal and even had to do two sittings due to the size of the crowds. At each sitting I did a very short devotional and a grace before we ate. I said to the crowd that today was Holy Thursday; the day when Jesus was betrayed by one of His closest friends who He was supposed to be able to trust. And that betrayal led to His arrest and His murder. I acknowledged that I suspected everyone in the room knew what it was like to be betrayed by someone whom they should have been able to trust. And that this betrayal has probably led to a lifetime of pain for many folks in the room. But I was able to remind them that Jesus didn’t just die and the story ends there, but that on Easter Sunday He rose again and conquered death and pain. And I said that we too, while we’re on our own journey through pain and towards our own death, have been given this gift of being able to overcome death and suffering and live eternally with God in perfect peace where there is no sickness, betrayal, addiction, or pain.

But here’s where the providential part of the story begins. I then sat with one of my long time street friends, Khan, from Pakistan. I hadn’t seen him in a while and he wasn’t eating much so I asked him why. He proceeded to tell me that he had changed his eating habits because he had just had a heart attack and was in hospital for 3 days and was told that one of his arteries was constricted by 85% and he needed an angioplasty to overcome it.

Well on a personal note, if you’ve been following the news about MS these days, a disease that I have lived with for close to 13 years now, you will know that there is a theory that an angioplasty of particular veins that transport blood in and out of the brain may in fact alleviate the symptoms of MS and vastly improve the quality for life of a person with MS. As an update, during this Lenten season, I have secured a date to be tested as to if I am a candidate for this surgery, and I’ve been freaking out with anxiety as to if the surgery is risky or dangerous or painful. So here I was, sitting in our drop-in with a friend who had just had the surgery, and he was telling me that he was awake during the surgery and it was pain free and he watched TV during the procedure and was up and walking the very next day. When I told him of my own story and possible surgery and the anxiety that I was having over it, he reached out is hand and touched my arm and said, “don’t worry; it’ll be just fine” .This to me was very much God’s way of speaking to me and telling me that he was with me and not to worry. God is so good.

Then I went to another drop-in where my wife works and we did a more traditional Seder supper where we ate traditional Passover foods and did a foot washing ceremony. This was so very moving and again, I felt the presence of God. But we couldn’t stay for the whole program as it was getting late and my 7-yar old daughter was with us and she needed to go to bed.  So she and I left and my wife stayed behind. On the way home my daughter was lamenting not being able to do the foot washing so we decided to wash each other’s feet before she went to sleep.

So we filled a bowl full of warm water, added fragrant soap, and washed each other’s feet. She knelt and massaged my feet with her little hands and took great care in drying them. Then I did the same for her. The intimacy that comes from washing another person’s feet, and having your own feet washed, especially when that person is your own daughter, is indescribable. I was overcome with emotion and again, felt God’s presence near to us.

But later, once she was asleep, reality came crashing down around me. I had tried to stay up late to pray but I too was so full of food and groggy from the pace of the day that I went to sleep even earlier than usual; waking up today and remembering that I too am one of the people who would have let Jesus down that night and possibly even denied Him if I were in that position.

Fasting (Matt.6:16-18)

So what does this last ‘act of righteousness’ of Lent, fasting, have to do with anything? Well, it is yet another thing we can do through Lent to purify ourselves from the bits of junk that get caught up in our systems. Saying no to a food or a habit helps us stay focused on the things that are important. For me, the concept is that every time I go to reach for that particular food or participate in that habit, that I abstain from that and focus on speaking to God instead.

And again, while I was a miserable failure in most of the things that I tried to fast from, I managed to stay true to 2 things. One was my fast from facebook, which sounds pathetic I know, but is something I can spend a significant amount of time at. The other was a fast from shaving; also pathetic sounding I know.

The shaving concept came about out of a conversation amongst the guys who work at Gateway. We decided to fast from shaving for several reasons;

1.    We’d be in solidarity with each other during Lent

2.    we’d be in solidarity with our friends on the street who, while many do in fact shave, they do not have the accessible conveniences of life that the rest of us have

3.    It would be an act of non-conformity.

4.    We’d be always conscious of the beard that is hard to ignore on our faces which would hopefully remind us of the season and the purpose of it all.

5.    We’d be able to shed ourselves of the weight of the beard in a symbolic way on Easter Sunday.

6.    We’d look cool with beards (Though for me, cool has been left behind and I currently look like I live in the woods somewhere)

For the most part, the shaving experiment has actually been a successful one for all of those reasons; especially that of now here on Good Friday, desperately wanting to shave and longing for Easter as a result.

As a final word on Lent, not that this reminder is necessary at this time, this season is a very long and sluggish time. The journey towards Easter is a struggle to leave behind the things that don’t matter and to focus on the things that do.

So when Easter does come, and it’s just around the corner, let us not forget that it is not just a one day celebration. Jesus is alive and is with us and reigns as the King of Kings. Let us, as Christians, dance and party and celebrate for the next 50 days of Easter as we journey towards Pentecost Sunday in 7 weeks. Let us not forget Easter for a very long time. He is risen!!!

Until then, I cannot wait for Easter Sunday.

Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Lent Musings (4 of 5)

 Prayer

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ecently I was asked by a friend of mine if I would come to a local park, notorious for it’s street activity, to speak and pray at a vigil that she was organizing. The vigil was both to remember women who had recently been murdered in Toronto’s sex trade as well as to stand in solidarity with each other in a peaceful protest as to the evils of this trade.

The friend who asked me to do this was a survivor of ‘the life’ herself. She had worked the trade for more than a decade until finally one night whilst in the midst of a bad trip on her favourite drug of choice, crack cocaine, she had a life changing and miraculous encounter with the Living God. She hasn’t looked back since and has committed her life to God and to journeying alongside people involved the trade. She is truly one of my heroes and a reminder to me whenever I see her that God does in fact still work and move in miraculous and life altering ways today.

I was warned before going that there would be conflicting agendas at play at this vigil. There would be people of different religious faiths present and all kinds of ’spirituality wars’ taking place. I was also told that there might be a group of advocates there whose whole premise is that the sex trade is a viable and perfectly acceptable vocational option for women to be in; as long as it is their choice as a woman to make. Despite my reservations, I accepted the invitation out of respect for my friend who had asked me to come and do this.

So when I got there, in the pouring rain I might add, I found myself one of very few men in the midst of some very strong and committed women; some of whom looked very tough and even perhaps angry. I was pretty much freaking out.

The vigil started with an aboriginal drummer and a First Nations smudging ceremony for anyone wanting to participate in that cleansing ritual. Then it was my turn to speak and pray! What on earth was I going to say that could possibly address this crowd and not do further damage to their image of Christians, of men, and of God?

Back to Lent

The 3^rd of the 4 ‘Acts of righteousness’ of Lent is prayer. (Matthew 6:5-15) Prayer is one of those many theological conversations that can get tricky really fast. “If God knows everything already, why do we need to pray? If God has a plan and it is already in motion, what difference will my prayers make? Why should I even bother?” These questions are all too familiar and are definitely important to flesh out. And I won’t even attempt to try and answer these in any thorough way. But I will say that after a lifetime of trying to figure out what it means to live as a Christian, that prayer is absolutely vital in the Christian walk. It does change things (both internally and in the world around us), and is a non-negotiable for anyone who identifies themselves as a Christian.

In the world we live in, we are exposed to constant distractions, noise, and choices. Everywhere we look, some advertiser is vying for our attention. I’ve been told that the average city dweller is exposed to at least 5000 ads per day. So all day long, from the time we wake to the time we go back to sleep, we are being bombarded by people telling us what to wear, drive, eat, think, buy, and do. How can we possibly hear the voice of God amidst all the noise?

As I’ve said in my first of these Lent musings, this season is a time of defragmentation. It is a time to refocus on the things that are important and to leave behind those bits and bites that have gotten stuck in the cogs our system and have jammed up our ability to process the world and our place in it. Often these little fragments of pollution make it impossible for us to even know that we are children of God and beloved by Him. So during Lent it is crucial to cut ourselves off from the noise for periods of solitude and prayer. These quiet times help us to hear the voice of God and avoid the distractions. They are times to shut out the lies being sold to us all day long and to focus on what is real and true. They are times to wake up from our sleep and oblivion to the fake world that has been created by corporations and other principalities and powers all around us and to see through the fumes to the truth. I have the awesome privilege of going to L’Arche Daybreak, the place where Henri Nouwen spent his last days, and taking retreats there whenever I can. I get to sleep in his house, hang out in his library, and reflect in silence on God, life, and the world around me. It is a gift that I could never properly express my gratitude for and one that I got to access for 2 days just last week. And I left feeling refreshed, focused and rejuvenated yet again.

That retreat reminded me that I believe in prayer. I believe in communal prayer with other believers and I believe in prayers of solitude. I believe it can be done while walking down the street of sitting on the subway or riding my bike. I believe it can be creative and spontaneous. I believe it can be powerful when read in a liturgy. And again, I believe it changes things because the God we pray to is the Creator and Preserver of all things. God is the Great Physician and can heal our world, our sicknesses (both physical and emotional), and our complacency.

I’ve said it better than I could write it here in this video that I did in preparation for a conference last year. So check it out if you have a few minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl4aIOv4Pzs

Back to the Vigil

As the drum ceremony was still underway, I silently prayed to God. Now I don’t speak this way very often, but as I prayed I felt a calmness come over me and felt as though I were being given the words to say and to pray. And while I struggled to get on track with Lent in the early weeks of the season this year, as I’ve admitted in my first post, I believe this was a turning point for me this Lenten season.

I said something like this;

“I’ve been working alongside folks who live on or close to the streets of Toronto for the past 20 years now. Back in the early days of my work, I was with a group that tried to reach out to folks who were working in the sex trade. 2 or 3 nights per week we’d go out in the middle of the night and hand out hot chocolate to women, boys and transvestites who were working the streets, in hopes of befriending them and letting them know that they are loved. We’d also hang out in all night coffee shops where women were known to take breaks in between tricks, again in hopes of somehow getting a message to them that they are loved and the beloved children of God.

It didn’t take long for me to be overwhelmed with emotions ranging from heartbreak to rage over what I experienced. The heartbreak came from getting to know some of the working girls and learning that they really didn’t have any hope of getting out of the trade, and had resigned themselves to their ‘fate’ in life. The rage came from watching men drive around in their mini-vans with their baby seats installed in the back, and picking up boys or women or transvestites in order to get their sex fix, and then heading back home to their wives and kids in the suburbs. I was also enraged with the pimps who were so horrible to ‘their girls’, and the culture we lived in which glorified the so-called profession of ‘pimp’ on TV, movies and in music. I felt helpless doing the work and I knew I needed to get out before my emotions took over and destroyed me. So I left that work behind.

Lately I ride my bike to work every morning. I currently run a shelter for men who are homeless. As I ride to work at 7am each morning, I ride through Toronto’s ‘low track’. (An area where very poor, addicted, and desperate women work the trade in hopes of snagging a john on their way to work in the morning. They often work for their next ‘hit’ of drugs.) As I ride through, I want to stop and talk. But I don’t because I don’t know how that will look to people driving by and I don’t know how the girls will respond to me if I stop. Will they think I’m another john? Will they think I’m a cop? Will they get mad at me for interrupting their business? So I keep on riding by without saying a word, just like all the other traffic. And as I ride through, I feel helpless and heartbroken.

But in the midst of my helplessness, I do not feel hopeless. I have hope that there is a way out of the life. I have hope that there is something better. And my hope rests in God, the creator and preserver of all things. The God I worship is bigger than the sex trade. He is bigger than crack cocaine. She is bigger than guns and gangs. She is bigger than pimps, bikers, and johns. He is bigger than drug dealers and organized crime. And she is able to overcome anything. My God gives me hope.

So before we go any further, let us pray to God.

Father God, I pray that you will be with us tonight and that you will make your presence known to us.

Mother God, I believe that you are here and that you know us by name. I believe that you love each of us, no matter what we have done or where we have been.

Creator God, I believe that you are a just God and that someday, while we don’t really know why you continue to let life be difficult for so many people, you will make everything right for all of creation.

So God, I cry out to you in faith and hope that you can and will make everything right, and that in the meantime you will watch over each of us and over our friends who are working the streets on this night.

I pray all of this in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ,

Amen.

 Easter is just around the corner. 

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Lent Musings (3 of 5)

“My religion is absurd!”, he said to the middle aged priest as they sat together in the arena watching the hockey game. The two, as fate or maybe even providence would have it, had just met because their tickets were beside each other. They struck up a conversation in the first period, drank a couple of beverages and shared some cheers together, and then the inevitable question came during the third period; ‘What do you do for a living?”

Sheepishly and expecting a reaction, my friend, the husband and father of three that drinks beer, occasionally cusses, and loves hockey admitted that he was an Anglican priest.

Well the reaction he got was swift and exponentially more intense than he ever imagined. “You’re a priest. NO *&$%#* WAY! You guys aren’t supposed to be cool.” When the initial shock had worn off, the man admitted, “I don’t know one single person in the whole world who goes to church regularly. I believe in God and everything but I can’t stand what I remember about church…

Your religion seems pretty cool but my religion is absurd!!!”

Back to Lent

Continuing on from my last piece about the four ‘acts of righteousness’ of Lent, the 2^nd of these four is taken from Matthew 6:2-4 and is known today as ‘giving to the needy’ or ‘giving alms’. Sadly, this is a significantly unfortunate translation of the original text. ‘Acts of mercy’, from what I’ve been told and have read of original biblical language scholars, is a far more accurate translation of what Jesus was saying at the time. “What’s the difference?” you might ask. Well here’s how I see it broken down into practical terms.

Giving to the needy

While giving to the needy is of course important to do, and while there are many needy people in the world who really require those of us who have extra to give some of that away to them in order for them to even survive, this should not and must not be the end of our concern for those who are poor and needy. It should, in fact, be just the beginning.

‘Giving to the needy’, if it ends there, simply becomes a charitable act that doesn’t involve relationship and often comes out of guilt and pity as opposed to love and joy. If Lent becomes a quaint fasting from chocolate or coffee for 40 days and a collection of a few bucks saved on those items to give away to a self-denial fund or to send off to Haiti for disaster relief,  then we’ve entirely missed the essence of what Jesus was on about when He referred to ‘acts of mercy’. If we only give away some extra cash to ‘those poor folks who I don’t really know but I feel really bad for’, but don’t take the time to invest of ourselves into the lives of others, we are missing the point altogether. If we only ‘give to the needy’, we participate in the perpetuation of neediness as we don’t take the time to get to know the people in need and walk with them through and possibly even out of that neediness.

Acts of Mercy

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, Lent is a season of getting back to basics. It is a time to practice spiritual disciplines that help us stand against the tide of darkness that continues to bombard us from within and without. It is a time to focus on the life of Christ and implement habits and practices that help us to become more like Him and less like everything else around us.

Well, in this area, Christ modelled not only a willingness, but a desire at the core of His being to be amongst ‘the needy’. He didn’t do this with any strings of church growth or evangelism attached. He did this out of His love and compassion for others. He did this because it brought Him joy. He did it because he was repulsed by society’s willingness to leave people behind based on their socio-economic or cultural status. He did this because it was an extension of who he was and what He stood for.

How did He go about this? He did it on both relational and systemic fronts. He befriended people that the religious elites of the day considered unworthy. He ate meals in homes that were frowned upon by the upper class. He hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors. He partied at weddings. He was unwilling to accept gifts and offerings that would make Him rich and powerful. He lived simply and daily demonstrated faith that His Father would provide His day-to-day sustenance. He healed the sick and made the blind to see. He touched people who were unclean. He dwelt among the people and refused to live apart from them. He turned over the money tables in the temple and destroyed idols that humans had made to replace the living God. He spoke truth to power at any cost and paid dearly for it. He refused to bend His knee to Caesar. He overcame very real temptations from Satan himself.

These, therefore, are the acts of mercy we need to challenge ourselves with this Lenten season. Lent leaves us with choices to make. Jesus asks us at Lent; ‘Do you want me? Do you actually believe me or are you just saying that? Do you have faith in me or are you just pretending? If so, then take up your cross and follow me. My yolk is easy and my burden is light.”

My theological and practical conviction is this; if we were about ‘acts of mercy’ a whole lot more than we were about ‘giving to the needy’ (or in our Army context might the term ’social services’, of which I am a part, be an equivalent?), people outside the church might actually stop and take notice of us. If, while the world was crumbling all around us and people could look to the way we live as though we were actually standing on the only solid ground to be found anywhere, than we might have far less conversations like the one I outlined at the beginning of this piece.

(I’m attaching the link to a video I made a few months back that perhaps does a far better job at articulating what I’m getting at than anything I could write.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3WfuMZci0Y )

But until then, perhaps the guy at the hockey game is right and our religion, like his, truly is absurd.

Still longing for Easter,

Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Lent Musings (2 of 5)

“I suck at Lent” admits Dion Oxford

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o instantly dispel any myths that I might be creating for myself as a super spiritual person (those of you who know me already know better), I need to confess right off the top that Lent thus far for me has been a miserable failure. On Shrove Tuesday I committed to several Lenten disciplines that I would try to pursue throughout these 40 days and all but one of them has, for the most part, gone by the wayside. (The only one that I haven’t blown yet is my commitment to not shave, which I’ll get into in a later post but I’ll say now that this beard getting out of control…) I promised God that I would or would not do certain things for 40 days out of my love and commitment for Him and my desire to be more like Jesus, but the temptations for the things I promised not to eat or to do have quite pathetically proven to be greater than my promise to God. And it didn’t take long for that to happen. (It’s kind of liberating to get that out there but I feel like a total loser about it all)

So this Lent has reminded me of two very powerful truths about myself;

1. I am miserably prone to slipping over and over again back into sin.
2. I am going to die and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

As I’ve read and reflected on the text of Matthew 6:1-18 and have allowed myself to be challenged to read scripture, the first of four themes of Lent (known in liturgical circles as the four ‘acts of righteousness’), I am made very aware of the deep sin within me and my desperate need to confess and repent of that sin.

There is darkness within me. Lent, beginning on Ash Wednesday, reminds me of that pervasive darkness and the struggle to keep that darkness in check. Lent reminds me in full force of the battle that rages within me, and the battle that rages within the world, of darkness verses light.

So Ash Wednesday, especially when reading the traditional texts that come with it of Matt. 6:1-18 as well as Joel 2:12-18, acts as a ‘reboot’ of the spiritual journey. I’m not a computer geek by any means but when my computer gets slow and sluggish I am occasionally advised to run the ‘defragment’ software in order to clean up the hard drive and help it not get bogged down in little bits and pieces that get stuck in there which aren’t necessary and only go to slowing down and confusing the computer. Ash Wednesday is God’s way of defragmenting us. It takes us out of our potential complacency and distractions, and brings us back to reality to focus on the truly important things of the Christian walk. It takes our minds off of trivial theological disputes (in the case of some of the recent dialogues on the Rubicon it reminds us that mudslinging over what version of the Bible is best or if or how we participate in sacraments, is out of step with the Christian walk) and refocuses us on things of bigger importance.

Lent brings us back to the basics of the story. And the story reveals that though the darkness is all around us and through us, and though we are born sinful and flawed (Ps. 55:5), the darkness cannot overcome the light. The darkness that followed Jesus every step of the way, and in very real ways came close to tempting Him to sin, did not defeat Him. But He did get murdered for standing firm against the darkness. His witness of light came at great cost. So too, our attempt to stand against the darkness should cost us. In fact, if it doesn’t cost us anything it’s worth absolutely nothing.

Ash Wednesday then is reboot day. It is the beginning of our walk towards Easter Sunday, where Jesus defeated sin and death. It reminds us that we too have sin within us that needs to be overcome. It reminds us that we too are on a journey towards our own death. It reminds us that, with Jesus, we too can overcome the sin and death in our own lives.

But it leaves us with choices to make. How than shall we live? What might we do to stand firm against the darkness? What disciplines might we attempt to embrace in our efforts to stand firm? When the world literally crumbles all around us (Haiti, Chile, Japan), when corrupt governments deal in death and people continue to die in the streets, when death surrounds us everywhere we look, how do we respond? Is our response to death the same as that of the rest of the world’s or are we noticeable in our response to oppression, injustice, and death?

Lent offers suggestions as to where to start with that. The first, as I’ve mentioned, is to read and take seriously the scriptures that have been given to us to reveal something of the nature of God and how we as His created beings are to respond in light of the good news of God’s love for us and for all of creation.

In my next piece I will focus my thoughts on the 2^nd of the 4 acts of righteousness, giving.

Until then I’m still sucking at Lenten disciplines, cursed with sin and longing for Easter,

Dion 

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Lent Musings (1 of 5)

Lent for Dummies - Like Me (by Dion Oxford)

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or those of us who grew up not paying much attention to the Christian calendar, Lent is a season that has often passed us by without even noticing it. Protestant piety made a point of rejecting everything associated with the higher liturgical traditions, for many very good reasons I might add, but sadly threw away a lot of great proven spiritual practices along the way in an effort to purge itself from the many legalistic trappings that can come with liturgical worship.

But in the past few years as I have begun worshipping in a more liturgical tradition, Lent has become of crucial significance to me in my Christian walk. When I started trying to observe the season, I originally needed a “Lent for dummies” lesson. So, as I suspect there are others out there just like me who are interested in Lent but know very little of what it means or where it comes from, here’s my feeble attempt at offering my own flawed version of “Lent for dummies”.

What does the word ‘Lent’ mean?

The word ‘Lent’ has a lengthy evolution. In Latin, the word quadragesima was used to refer to the 40 days leading up to Easter. In the middle ages, the English word ‘Lent’ emerged which means, quite simply, spring. (Which comes from the German word Lenz and the Dutch word lente) This derives from the German root for ‘long’ due to the fact that in springtime the days visibly lengthen. (Notice that ‘Lent’ and ‘Lengthen’ are very similar)

The practice and Purpose of Lent

(This entire section comes from http://www.crivoice.org/cylent.html)

“Originating in the fourth century of the church, the season of Lent spans 40 weekdays beginning on Ash Wednesday and climaxing during Holy Week with Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday), Good Friday, and concluding Saturday before Easter. Originally, Lent was the time of preparation for those who were to be baptized, a time of concentrated study and prayer before their baptism at the Easter Vigil, the celebration of the Resurrection of the Lord early on Easter Sunday. But since these new members were to be received into a living community of Faith, the entire community was called to preparation. Also, this was the time when those who had been separated from the Church would prepare to rejoin the community.

Today, Lent is marked by a time of prayer and preparation to celebrate Easter. Since Sundays celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the six Sundays that occur during Lent are not counted as part of the 40 days of Lent, and are referred to as the Sundays in Lent. The number 40 is connected with many biblical events, but especially with the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for His ministry by facing the temptations that could lead him to abandon his mission and calling. Christians today use this period of time for introspection, self examination, and repentance.

Lent has traditionally been marked by penitential prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Some churches today still observe a rigid schedule of fasting on certain days during Lent, especially the giving up of meat, alcohol, sweets, and other types of food. Other traditions do not place as great an emphasis on fasting, but focus on charitable deeds, especially helping those in physical need with food and clothing, or simply the giving of money to charities. Most Christian churches that observe Lent at all focus on it as a time of prayer, especially penance, repenting for failures and sin as a way to focus on the need for God’s grace. It is really a preparation to celebrate God’s marvellous redemption at Easter, and the resurrected life that we live, and hope for, as Christians.”

Where do I start if I want to participate in Lent?

As I have attempted over the past few years to go deeper with Lent, I have tried to observe the four emphases of Lent that traditionally are derived from Matthew 6. These are;

1. Scripture (Matthew 6:1-18)
2. Giving (Matthew 6:2-4)
3. Prayer (Matthew 6:5-15)
4. Fasting (Matthew 6:16-18)

Hopefully you will find reading the Matthew passage through this lens would be a helpful start if participating in Lent is new to you. And if you think it’s too late to try some of these disciplines this year, hear me plead with you that it is not too late, lest we slip instantly into the legalistic pitfalls that can come with practicing the spiritual disciplines!

So, over the next 4 Lent Musings, I will focus on each of these areas individually as they relate to my own life and my attempt to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before God.

Longing for Easter,

Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

The lame walk again - Advent Musings #4

W

ell here we are at the 4th installment of these Advent thoughts. As I write this today we are exactly one week away from the big day. We are 7 days from the day we celebrate the arrival of the King of Kings … but yet I am ashamed to admit that today my main anxiety is regarding the few presents I want to buy for the people that I love the most. As much as I try to leave behind the baggage of this westernized version of materialistic, consumer driven Christmas where the only entity that seems to come out on top is Walmart, I can’t seem to shake it off.

So these four blogs have hopefully demonstrated my own personal struggles in Christmas. I wait for Christ’s final return in desperate anticipation of the day when He’ll make all of creation right, but yet get sucked into my own selfishness which then contributes to the destruction of the same creation I long to see made whole.

I struggle with all of the brokenness that I see all around me which often brings me down, but yet I’m overcome with joy when I see something wonderful happen in someone’s life. I hope beyond hope for all of the pain in the world to end, but yet I love my life, my wife and daughter, my friends, my job and my church so much that I want it to last just a little bit longer despite the billions of people all over the world who are desperate to leave behind the destruction that they face every day.

So I’ve concluded within myself that these musings are quite a bit about me. And so I’ve chosen to end these stories of hope and struggle with my own.

Many of you will know that I have lived with Multiple Sclerosis for almost 13 years now. It has been full of ups and downs but for the most part has been quite manageable and I have come to grips with it. But this Advent season of waiting has brought with it a very personal anticipation in light of the amazing new possibilities in MS research that have come to light these past few weeks. Most of you will have heard about this already, but for those who haven’t, a doctor in Italy has hypothesized that MS is a vascular disease as opposed to an auto-immune one and that it could quite possibly be cured with a simple angioplasty surgery to open the veins wider and allow for better blood flow. 

I must admit that despite my doctor’s urgings to not get too excited about something that hasn’t been tested enough yet, it has been massively difficult to keep it together since that news hit the airwaves. While I have come to grips with the disease, I have also needed to acknowledge some losses along the way. Lately I have real difficulty in walking and it seems to be here to stay. I can’t stand up for more than a few minutes without it zapping all of my energy. Walking for more than a few blocks is a real challenge for me. I’ve even needed to admit to myself that I now need a scooter in order to get around on longer journeys. So for example, if I want to spend the day at the zoo with my 7-year old daughter Cate, I will need a mobility scooter in order for that to be possible. (One of the Advent miracles within the story is that this week a very generous family has offered to buy me the exact scooter that I need. I’m truly overwhelmed by how supported I feel at times like this.)

I watched a half-hour TV special on this new MS discovery that showed interviews with people who had lived with MS, who had the exact same struggles as I do, who had the surgery and now can no longer remember what it was like to have MS. I watched one man with tears in his eyes speak of how he can now play tennis with his son when he couldn’t do that before he had the surgery. And I found myself longing for it more than I can remember longing for anything in my life. I want to be able to run around in the park with my daughter. I want to go for long walks with my wife. I’m embarrassed to have to need a scooter and be looked at with sympathy and even scorn. I would trade everything I own for this as not one material thing in this world could ever come close to what this would mean to me.

The most brutal thing of all in this is that it’s so painfully humbling to need to be cared for when I’m the guy who cares for others. I hate it. Yet it is a gift to me that I needed even though I haven’t asked for it and I’d gladly give back if I could. It is here that I will turn it over to Henri Nouwen who speaks to me and can speak on my behalf.

Keep your eyes on the prince of peace, the one who doesn’t cling to his divine power; the one who refuses to turn stones into bread, jump from great heights and rule with great power; the one who says, “Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness; blessed are the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness” (see Matt. 5:3-11); the one who touches the lame, the crippled, and the blind; the one who speaks words of forgiveness and encouragement; the one who dies alone, rejected and despised. Keep your eyes on him who becomes poor with the poor, weak with the weak, and who is rejected with the rejected. He is the source of all peace.

Where is this peace to be found? The answer is clear. In weakness. First of all, in our own weakness, in those places of our hearts where we feel most broken, most insecure, most in agony, most afraid. Why there? Because there our familiar ways of controlling our world are being stripped away; there we are called to let go from doing much, thinking much, and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right there where we are weakest the peace which is not of this world is hidden.

While I haven’t found complete peace in my weakness, I know exactly what he is getting at here and I long for more of it. So I find myself yet again stuck in the paradox of Advent. I long to be whole in body but my brokenness is bringing me closer to my God. I want to be in unity with the Creator of the universe but I want to be able to run around with my daughter too. I want to be dependant on the Prince of Peace but I also want to be independent in this body of mine. I want this peace that comes from only being weak but I desire to be strong while I experience it.

Come Lord Jesus. Come quickly and rescue me from my confusion and make me, along with all of creation, whole.

Shalom,
Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Raised from the Dead - Advent Musings #3

T

o think that we have just remembered the 3^rd of only 4 Sundays of Advent is shocking to me. Time keeps flying by and it overwhelms me to think of how quickly life seems to keep on happening.

The 3^rd Sunday of Advent is known in liturgical circles as ‘Gaudete Sunday’. And the symbolism of this 3^rd Sunday is perfect for those of us who cannot quite believe that we are this close to Christmas already. The word ‘gaudete’ means to rejoice, and anticipates the arrival of Christmas. It is the first word in the liturgy of the day; 

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice; let your forbearance be known to all, for the Lord is near at hand; have no anxiety about anything, but in all things, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God.

Of the 4 candles in the Advent wreath to be lit on each Sunday of Advent, three are purple and one is pink. The pink candle is lit on this 3^rd Sunday as it is meant to symbolize the joyous anticipation of the coming of the King of kings and the Prince of peace. Pink is meant to symbolize the merging of the purple more somber candles with the white Christ candle which gets lit on Christmas day. Gaudete is an early celebration of what is to come. It anticipates light overcoming the darkness, peace overcoming war, hope overcoming despair, and life defeating death.

Here at Gateway we get to have these gaudete days quite regularly amidst the turmoil of the streets. I’d invite you to meet Anthony;

“Imagine the dirtiest, smelliest bum you’ve ever seen. Now multiply that by 100. That was me in 2002,” says Anthony Schofield, now 34.

Anthony grew up in a home with a stepfather who has since lost his life to crack cocaine and alcohol abuse. Anthony had low self-esteem, and his erratic behaviour led his parents to have him placed in special education classes, group homes and a mental health centre. Anthony started selling and using drugs at a young age. His drug problem escalated when he was accepted into the Ontario College of Art. His $8,900 student assistance loan and the downtown school’s proximity to drug dealers proved to be too tempting of a combination.

In 1994, Anthony dropped out of school and started living on the streets. He was one of the first “squeegee kids”, cleaning drivers’ windshields for a donation. “When we first started doing this, drivers were sympathetic to us and quite generous. I was making about $60 an hour.” Yet, this newfound source of plentiful cash only made it easier to feed his crack addiction.

Living under an overpass, Anthony’s white skin turned black with grime. Hardly eating, he dropped to 100 pounds. His shoulder length hair matted into dreadlocks. His face was swollen. His feet were so bruised and raw, he could barely walk. Not bathing for months, he constantly smelled like urine. “Even other bums were repulsed by me. It’s a miracle that I’m alive today,” says Anthony

For four years, he popped into the Gateway on occasion to warm up, get a bite to eat, clean up, or sleep in a bed. “At the beginning, I was belligerent and foul-mouthed with them, and abused the place by smoking crack in their bathroom. And they’d kick me out because they didn’t allow that behaviour. Yet, every time I came back, I received unconditional forgiveness and support.

“One day while in the Gateway, I was really feeling hatred for myself. I started punching myself in the face, and blackened my own eye. The staff at the Gateway held me down so I couldn’t hurt myself any more. They hugged me and prayed for me until I settled down.

“Over the years, they have listened to me and I’ve received counseling from everyone there, on my addictions, on managing my life, on self-awareness. They helped me make the decision to get off drugs. On the day I was going into detox, one staff member dropped everything to drive me to the hospital. The Gateway helped me to get into a recovery home. I lived there one year as a recovering addict, and the next year, they hired me to manage that home, which I did for a year. With the grace of God, I’ve stayed off drugs ever since, and continue to go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings.

“The people at the Gateway gave me the strength to turn my life around. They have become my friends, and they never stopped believing in me. They taught me what it was like to have a healthy relationship with someone, and how to love.

I’ve done a lot to get myself back on my feet, but they’ve supported me every step of the way and still do - I run all the big changes in my life past them. “The people at the Gateway never turned their back on me. I owe them my life.”

Presently Anthony is employed at Gateway as a street outreach specialist. In fact, he tapped into his skills as an artist this year and designed our Christmas cards that we used as a fundraiser (I still have a few packages of these for sale if anyone is interested) In my opinion, he epitomizes the theme of gaudete Sunday in that he is alive and has defeated death.

In fact I would say that he has literally been raised from the dead.

Still waiting but rejoicing.

Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Do They Know it’s Christmas?- Advent Musings #2

As a reminder of where I left off last week, I outlined that at Advent, Christians are asked to remember and reflect upon the past, present and future of what Christ’s coming means to us and to the world. I admitted my own impatience as I wait for Christ’s final return where He will set all of creation right again, but I also acknowledged that as I not-so-patiently wait for this, in the meantime I get the privilege of witnessing glimpses of grace and hope right here and right now.

It’s during the 2^nd weekend of Advent that, among other things, we remember the feast of St. Nicholas. He was a holy man in the 5^th century striving to live out the Christian life in the best way that he knew how. Legend has it that when his parents died he inherited so much money that he’d never be able to spend it all. But instead of living a life of luxury, he chose to use that money to help people who were struggling through poverty.

Legend has it that there was a widow that he knew of that had 3 daughters. The widow had no source of income and so was very close to turning her three daughters out to the streets as prostitutes in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. But good old St. Nick was having none of that so he filled 3 bags full of gold and either slipped them in the house through a window or a door, or actually dropped these bags down their chimney. The woman and her daughters were spared a life of humiliation and degradation.

Long story short, this is the origin of our current form of gift giving at Christmas as well as what has now become Santa Claus. This very righteous act of kindness has been destroyed over the centuries by human greed and turned into the disgusting self-centred shop-till-you-drop nastiness that is Christmas today.

At Gateway, thankfully we’ve seen some resistance to this.

Every year we have a Christmas store. We know that the men who stay with us have loved ones (a child, a parent or family member, a partner, etc.) that they want to give a gift to. But being homeless doesn’t exactly make it easy to go and buy something for them. So unfortunately every year they have to go and beg for these gifts from some gift depot or toy distribution place and give it to their loved one. But deep down inside it becomes another humiliating reminder of their inability to provide for the ones they love. So we at Gateway buy about $1000 worth of toys and trinkets and set up a Christmas store. Then our residents can either buy these gifts at very discounted prices, or they can do chores to earn coupons to purchase them. This way, when they give their loved ones a gift at Christmas, they know that they’ve earned it and didn’t have to beg for it. After all, as Jesus Himself has said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

But some guys are so alone and so alienated from anyone that they once loved, that they have no one to give a gift to at Christmas. So last year a group of men who fit this description showed me a beautiful glimpse of wonder and hope and community. These 3 or 4 men decided they’d do a bunch of chores and earn as many coupons as they could, and then buy up as many things as possible from our Christmas store and donate them back to a gift distribution centre so that they could help less fortunate families at Christmas. After all, it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

Now, while this was quite a bit awkward for us as it sort of defeated the purpose of what we were trying to do, it was a moving display of beauty and selflessness that really demonstrated that while the world certainly isn’t all right, there are some miraculous things to witness right here and right now that remind us that there is still much to hope in; even amongst those that much of the rest of the world has discarded and left behind as having no value.

So in this 2^nd week of Advent, let’s reclaim the legacy of St. Nicholas and let’s keep our eyes open for glimpses of hope. They’re all around us; especially in places we least expect to find them.

Still waiting.

Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

“Not so patiently waiting” - Advent Musings #1

Well it’s that time of year again.

Santa, Christmas trees, decorations, trees, parties, presents, turkey…  It all sounds so great right? Everyone loves Christmas right?

Well, not so much.

While Christmas for some is definitely full of life and joy and peace and is something to look forward to with great expectation and excitement, for others it is a season to be tolerated. It is one where some put their heads down and say to themselves “it’ll be all over in a month so I’ll just grind my way through it until it’s over.”

It is a season of being reminded of old family wounds, loneliness, and isolation from loved ones.

For those who know little about what Advent means, it is the season leading up to Christmas in the Christian calendar. The word ‘Advent’ gets its origins from the Latin word ‘adventus’ which means ‘coming’. So as we enter the Advent season Christians are invited to think about the coming of Christ, and we reflect on what that means in past, present and future tenses. Christians remember that Jesus came as a baby, a Palestinian Jew to be exact, around 2000 years ago. He came as a fully human baby who also happened to be the Messiah, the saviour of the world. So we Christians remember the mystery and wonder of this historical event during Advent.

Christians also are to reflect on how Jesus affects us right here and right now. We believe that Jesus is the King of Kings today. We only ‘bend the knee’ to one King and His name is Jesus. Our allegiance only rests in Him and in no one or nothing else. So we are reminded during Advent that when we have a choice of bending our knee to ‘Caesar’ (which in our case could be anything from money, to the government, to our addictions to things like shopping, materialism, individualism…) or bending our knee to Jesus, that our decision must be obvious. Jesus is our King today, and not just someone to remember who came 2000 years ago.

But then we also think about who Jesus is for the future. And that is where the waiting and the patience comes in. Christians believe that Jesus will come back at some point to make everything right. At this moment, the world is not all right. If one needs proof that not everything is perfect, they’d be advised to just watch the news tonight for 5 minutes for a rude awakening.

And here at Gateway as we walk alongside folks who live on the streets, we are reminded every second of every day that the world is not right. When we hear the horrible stories of abuse, violence, rape, neglect, and poverty, we know that the world we live in is not all right.

And so at Advent we Christians ask the question, “How long Lord will you wait to return to make everything right? How long must we wait? How much more pain do we have to witness? How long before it all goes away?”

Are we to wait patiently? Yes. Do we wait patiently? For me the answer to that is no; my patience runs thin.

But at Christmas, we Christians are called to watch, to wait, to hope, and to be ready for Christ’s final return once and for all. That means that we don’t sit around and do nothing but we work tirelessly to bring hope to people while we wait as patiently as we can. And in the midst of that waiting we get little glimpses of hope and new life. We get the privilege of witnessing amazing things. We see lives changed before our eyes. We see people who came here without hope, leave us with new hope. We see people who come here with no life, get raised from the dead.

And over the next few weeks of Advent, I will share some of those stories of glimpses of grace and hope here.

So, Happy Advent. Let’s together stand against the tide of our westernized Christmas filled with manic consumerism and madness, and wait and work with the hope that at some point in time all of creation will be made whole and right.

Shalom

Dion

Writer: The Concise Oxford is written by Dion Oxford who, along with his wife, Erinn, and daughter, Cate, live in Toronto, Canada and are committed to journeying alongside people in the margins of society. He and Erinn have spent a combined 30 years working amongst folks who are living on the streets of Toronto. Dion is a recovering Salvationist who currently worships at an evangelical Anglican church but still works for The Salvation Army at the Gateway, a shelter for men experiencing homelessness. He and his wife see the solution to homelessness as the church taking seriously the two great commandments of loving God and loving our neighbour. He likes to read, write, fly kites, cycle long distances, watch TV, play in his band and hang out with his friends.

Tags: feasting, mission, poor

Concise Oxford | The end of Christendom?

I think not says Dion Oxford

S

ome would argue that Christendom has finally come to an end. Now we can get on with the business of the church once and for all and leave the crusades and residential schools behind.

Before Christendom, becoming a Christian was very much a counter-cultural act. When people became Christians and got baptized (became soldiers?), they weren’t asked if they believed in all of the doctrines of the church and to sign some kind of doctrinal covenant (”I promise not to drink or smoke or gamble…”). They were asked about their works. “Did you help clothe people who needed clothing? Did you feed hungry people? Did you care for the sick and visit people in jail?” It was the answers to these questions that solidified membership in the church. Not questions of stances on moral and ethical issues ranging from sexuality to what one consumes to what one wears to church.

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