Double~take | prayer

prayers to a dead-end voicemail

T

his week I managed to call the voicemail of a phone that we’ve had difficulty in accessing. After sitting through 18 new messages (dating from June), I finally got to the call I had just missed. The message bank was full.

It’s the situation I envisage myself in over the next couple of weeks. Did you know that after flushing your cellphone down the toilet, it still takes a bit for the water to completely destroy it? I tried calling my phone, and waited through 15 rings till I hit voicemail. Now my phone no longer rings - and I have no idea how to access any messages which people may leave. R.I.P. phone.

I theorized that this can be like prayer. I know there are a heap of verses that speak of God not listening to our prayers if there is unresolved sin in our life, and not hearing rote prayers when people think he will answer them because of their many words.

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Double~take | star gazing

Ignorance could be deadly

T

his week saw the Harvest Moon - apparently so named because it is the last full moon before the autumnal equinox or something. We saw it as we drove east to get ice cream at the Beaches [an area of Toronto, Canada], and it was huge and yellow and low, and very much in danger of being confused with all the lights and signs along the street. Optical illusion or not, it still looked gorgeous.

I’ve done a fair amount of star gazing this year, which is unusual because in Toronto most of the stars are hazed out by light pollution. Once a while ago, someone pointed out the Big Dipper to a couple of us who were together. Except that it wasn’t the Big Dipper. I strained my eyes to see it where it was pointed out, but after a while, I realized that it wasn’t there. We were looking west, not north. I turned to the right, and BOOM, there it was, large as life.

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Double~take | catching mice

Don’t underestimate…

O

nce, a boy and his friend came to show us a mouse they had caught. They had too - one of them had in their hand a squirming mouse held carefully in a tea towel, and I have no idea how they managed to catch it. (Neither boy was older than about six.) The dad of one of the boys commented - “It must have been a really old mouse for those guys to have caught it!” I knew better than to laugh with him, though, because it reminded me of the last time I underestimated a six-year-old…

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Double~take | ask first

No one asks the trafficked

T

he long summer is finally over… awww. This week meant the start of a new year for many people - new classes, new schools and new things to learn…

“Dad! Tomorrow we try out for the badminton team!”
“Mom! Next week we’re learning about dinosaurs!”
“Oh. My. Gosh. I went to French today, and I am sitting across from THE cutest guy in the school.”

But the award for most random thing to learn at your first day at school goes to… Drew, who learned at his first day of orientation at university that… you need to “Ask First!” Apparently the entire day, whilst rehearsing a myriad of songs/cheers with horrendously sexual undertones, new students were confronted with the message that, no matter what they’re wearing; no matter if you’ve done it with them before - it is still a requirement that you “Ask First!”

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Double~take | great big God

Becoming more childlike

T

his week my campers got into a discussion about the bible sessions we have at Salvation Army camps, and a few of them mentioned that they liked to dance around a lot, and sing like they have at previous camps. They very enthusiastically and unanimously declared their favourite bible song to be “Great Big God”, and launched into the chorus, complete with actions, before volunteering to lead the rest of the campers in singing it the following afternoon. I would’ve recommended them too, but Thursdays are the days that we re-enact the Stations of the Cross, and we don’t have any singing.

It’s a pity that the worship team doesn’t know that song anyway, because we can never have too many reminders that Our God is a Great Big God. Time after time I have seen reminders in seemingly unrelated passages.

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Double~take | plants 101

The wild stuff of fairy tales

L

ast year I helped out with a March Break camp, and for some unknown reason got put in charge of the nature activities (I knew squirrels and raccoons and not much else). Mostly the kids were satisfied with smores and a campfire, and the occasional snowball-throwing contest; but I was greatly amused by the feedback from one of the more enthusiastic kids:

“It was fun, but we didn’t really learn much nature stuff in nature…”

To which I remarked when we later read them: “That’s what you get for putting an Australian in charge of the Canadian nature section….”

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Double~take | terrible twos

too much to handle

I

know a few children about the age of two. I have lived with them for more than a year now, and I still don’t know why anyone would come up with the title “terrible two’s”. In my experience, they are very polite and considerate small people - perfectly willing to share their raisins or juice with you (sometimes to the point of forcing it into your mouth, but hey). Maybe I only ever run into the nice ones?

I think these “too’s” are far more “terrible”:

(In other people’s opinions…)

• If I’m not too young, then I’m too old.
• I either have too much experience; or I’m too inexperienced.
• sometimes I have too much stuff… other times I have too little.
• I am either too quiet, or too noisy;
• too strict, or too laid back.
• I am too conservative, or too liberal;
• too traditional or too contemporary;
• either too religious or too secular.
• too urban, or too suburban.

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Double~take | emergency

Hurt in a strange land

E

mergency room consultation fee (without OHIP - the no-cost coverage offered by the Ontario government to Canadians): $600
X-rays: $77
Post x-ray consultation including any required treatment: $375
Finding out your thumb wasn’t broken to begin with? Priceless…

I seem to have an unfortunate tendency towards finger injuries while playing ball games. So far my boycott list includes basketball and rugby; and a couple of weeks ago I added dodgeball to the list. Initially it just seemed to be strained muscle around my thumb, so I iced it and avoided using it for a while; but when an ominous hard lump replaced the knuckle in question, I figured I needed a check up.

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Double~take | fear factor

It saves time to create our own fear

P

ut a meal in front of several dozen kids, and they will compete to outdo one another in feats of disgusting-ness. One hot dog with 21 pickle slices? No problem. Half a bowl of freshly sliced onions? You’ll have to confiscate it to stop them. Hide the food behind a sheet and call it Fear Factor? They’re practically barfing even when you say they just have to chug a can of pop, or eat half a dozen dry crackers. Psyche!

You can watch it happening, especially at the zip line (flying fox), or at the polar bear swim. Kids who leap enthusiastically into a freezing lake during afternoon swim time will cry and hide when you suggest they dip into a lukewarm lake at 7am to get cabin points. Why? It’s a polar bear swim. That means it’s cold…
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Double~take | sponsor child

Is it Christ-like to give without the love?

I

have a sponsor child. His name is Emmanuel, and he is from Uganda. I’m going to get into trouble for this, but the only reason his name popped into my head today was because I recently started getting all my yearly statements to fill in my (Australian) tax return. Including all my tax deductible Red Shield and charitable donation receipts. What happens when the Red Shield doorknockers meet the people they aim to help? What happens if they never meet? Who is The Salvation Army, anyway? Which of course was the cause of my guilt pangs as I realised I had forgotten about Emmanuel AGAIN, and hence, I (who give time and money) never meet Emmanuel or his family (who struggle to make money) even in my thoughts.

I set up a direct debit from my bank account so that someone in Australia relieves me of $20 a month, and sends it to Emmanuel to pay for food and school stuff. And then I promptly forget about it. Repeatedly. I do have some redeeming features; namely that I brought all his details to Canada with me so I could write to him like I’ve been meaning to for months; and I ensured that my bank account had enough funds to last out the year, because I knew I’d be busy when I got here, but still. And there’s the disturbing fact that I can forget that someone is relieving me of enough cash to support a child.

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